A Parody Outline of History: Wherein May Be Found a Curiously Irreverent Treatment of American Historical Events, Imagining Them as They Would Be Narrated by America's Most Characteristic Contemporary AuthorsStewart, Donald Ogden
History
A Parody Outline of History: Wherein May Be Found a Curiously Irreverent Treatment of American Historical Events, Imagining Them as They Would Be Narrated by America's Most Characteristic Contemporary Authors
Stewart, Donald Ogden
Parodies; United States -- History -- Humor
But the red-haired stranger had vanished and Colombo found that he was
alone and to Colombo the world seemed cheerless and as a place that none
has lived in for a long time.
"Now this is curious", mused Colombo, "for I have evidently been
dreaming and a more horrible dream have I never had, and I think", said
Colombo, "that while all this quite certainly did not actually take
place, yet that grinning red head has upset me horribly and on the
whole", said Colombo, "I believe the safest course would be to put back
at once for Spain, for certainly I have no desire to take the remotest
chance of discovering anything which may in the least resemble that
Gopher Prairie."
And the tale tells that as Colombo started for the deck in order that
he might give the signal for the return to Spain, there came across the
water from one of the other ships the faint cry of a sailor. And the
sailor was waving his hat and shouting, "Land Ho!"
Thus it was that Cristofer Colombo became the discoverer of the land of
his imagining, and as he stood on the deck Colombo mused.
"Now this is a sorrowful jest and a very unfair jest that is happening,"
said he. "For I who have dreamed a beautiful dream of the land of my
imagining will quite probably henceforth be known only as the discoverer
of what will turn out to be merely one more hideous and stupid country."
And tears came to the eyes of Colombo, for on the waves behind him
floated the torn and scattered pages of the poem which sang the imagined
vision of Beauty of him whom men long and long ago called the Dreamer.
Thus it was in the old days.
ANALYSIS AND SUMMARY OF THE FOREGOING ARTICLE In the Manner of Dr. Frank
Crane
There is a lesson for us all in this beautiful story of how Columbus
realized his ambition to be a great discoverer.
Men called Columbus a Dreamer--but that is just what folks once said
about Thomas A. Edison and Henry Ford.
The world has a place for Dreamers--if they are Practical Dreamers.
Columbus was ambitious. Ambition is a great thing if it is unselfish
ambition. By unselfish I mean for the greatest good of the greatest
number. Shakespeare, the great teacher, shows us in "Macbeth" what
happens to the selfishly ambitious man.
Columbus got ahead by paying attention to small details. Whatever he
did, he did to the best of his ability. Even when engaged in teaching
geography to the Queen, Columbus was the best geography teacher he knew
how to be. And before long he was made Royal Geographer.
In our daily lives let us all resolve to be good teachers of geography.
We may not all become Royal Geographers--but there will be to us the
lasting satisfaction of having done our best. And that, as a greater
than I has said, is "more precious than rubies--yea, than much fine
gold".
Chapter Three
MAIN STREET: Plymouth, Mass.
In the Manner of Sinclair Lewis
I
1620.
Late autumn.
The sour liver-colored shores of America.
Breaking waves dashing too high on a stern and rockbound coast.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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