lie down on the grass in for ever, in the happy faith that life is all
a green old English garden and time an endless summer afternoon. This
charmed seclusion was especially grateful to my friend, and his sense of
it reached its climax, I remember, on one of the last of such occasions
and while we sat in fascinated _flânerie_ over against the sturdy back of
Saint John’s. The wide discreetly-windowed wall here perhaps broods upon
the lawn with a more effective air of property than elsewhere. Searle
dropped into fitful talk and spun his humour into golden figures. Any
passing undergraduate was a peg to hang a fable, every feature of the
place a pretext for more embroidery.
“Isn’t it all a delightful lie?” he wanted to know. “Mightn’t one fancy
this the very central point of the world’s heart, where all the echoes
of the general life arrive but to falter and die? Doesn’t one feel the
air just thick with arrested voices? It’s well there should be such
places, shaped in the interest of factitious needs, invented to minister
to the book-begotten longing for a medium in which one may dream unwaked
and believe unconfuted; to foster the sweet illusion that all’s well in
a world where so much is so damnable, all right and rounded, smooth and
fair, in this sphere of the rough and ragged, the pitiful unachieved
especially, and the dreadful uncommenced. The world’s made--work’s over.
Now for leisure! England’s safe--now for Theocritus and Horace, for
lawn and sky! What a sense it all gives one of the composite life of
the country and of the essential furniture of its luckier minds! Thank
heaven they had the wit to send me here in the other time. I’m not much
visibly the braver perhaps, but think how I’m the happier! The misty
spires and towers, seen far off on the level, have been all these years
one of the constant things of memory. Seriously, what do the spires and
towers do for these people? Are they wiser, gentler, finer, cleverer?
My diminished dignity reverts in any case at moments to the naked
background of our own education, the deadly dry air in which we gasp for
impressions and comparisons. I assent to it all with a sort of desperate
calmness; I accept it with a dogged pride. We’re nursed at the opposite
pole. Naked come we into a naked world. There’s a certain grandeur
in the lack of decorations, a certain heroic strain in that young
imagination of ours which finds nothing made to its hands, which has to
invent its own traditions and raise high into our morning-air, with
a ringing hammer and nails, the castles in which we dwell. _Noblesse
oblige_--Oxford must damnably do so. What a horrible thing not to rise
to such examples! If you pay the pious debt to the last farthing of
interest you may go through life with her blessing; but if you let it
stand unhonoured you’re a worse barbarian than we! But for the better or
worse, in a myriad private hearts, think how she must be loved! How the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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