“Thanks to your liking so to please folks!” Mr. Simmons appeared for
a moment at odds with something; it proved to be with his liquor. “I
rather think your beer’s too good to be true,” he said to the waiter. “I
guess I’ll take water. Come, old man,” he resumed, “don’t challenge me
to the arts of debate, or you’ll have me right down on you, and then you
_will_ feel me. My native sweetness, as I say, was part of it. The idea
that if I put the thing through it would be a very pretty feather in
my cap and a very pretty penny in my purse was part of it. And the
satisfaction of seeing a horrid low American walk right into an old
English estate was a good deal of it. Upon my word, Searle, when I think
of it I wish with all my heart that, extravagant vain man as you are, I
_could_, for the charm of it, put you through! I should hardly care what
you did with the blamed place when you got it. I could leave you alone
to turn it into Yankee notions--into ducks and drakes as they call ‘em
here. I should like to see you tearing round over it and kicking up its
sacred dust in their very faces!”
“You don’t know me one little bit,” said Mr. Searle, rather shirking,
I thought, the burden of this tribute and for all response to the
ambiguity of the compliment.
“I should be very glad to think I didn’t, sir. I’ve been to no small
amount of personal inconvenience for you. I’ve pushed my way right up
to the headspring. I’ve got the best opinion that’s to be had. The best
opinion that’s to be had just gives you one leer over its spectacles. I
guess that look will fix you if you ever get it straight. I’ve been
able to tap, indirectly,” Mr. Simmons went on, “the solicitor of your
usurping cousin, and he evidently knows something to be in the wind. It
seems your elder brother twenty years ago put out a feeler. So you’re
not to have the glory of even making them sit up.”
“I never made any one sit up,” I heard Mr. Searle plead. “I shouldn’t
begin at this time of day. I should approach the subject like a
gentleman.”
“Well, if you want very much to do something like a gentleman you’ve got
a capital chance. Take your disappointment like a gentleman.”
I had finished my dinner and had become keenly interested in poor Mr.
Searle’s unencouraging--or unencouraged--claim; so interested that I
at last hated to hear his trouble reflected in his voice without being
able--all respectfully!--to follow it in his face. I left my place, went
over to the fire, took up the evening paper and established a post of
observation behind it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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