American fiction -- 19th century; Sierra Nevada (Calif. and Nev.) -- Fiction
He had done it! Certainly she must have understood his meaning, and
there was nothing left for him to do but to acquaint Bradley with his
intentions to-night, and press her for a final answer in the morning.
There would be no indelicacy then in asking her for an interview more
free from interruption than this public veranda. Without conceit, he
did not doubt what the answer would be. His indecision, his sudden
resolution to leave her, had been all based upon the uncertainty of HIS
own feelings, the propriety of HIS declaration, the possibility of some
previous experience of hers that might compromise HIM. Convinced by
her unembarrassed manner of her innocence, or rather satisfied of her
indifference to Richardson's gossip, he had been hurried by his feelings
into an unexpected avowal. Brought up in the perfect security of his
own social position, and familiarly conscious--without vanity--of
its importance and power in such a situation, he believed, without
undervaluing Louise's charms or independence, that he had no one else
than himself to consult. Even the slight uneasiness that still pursued
him was more due to his habitual conscientiousness of his own intention
than to any fear that she would not fully respond to it. Indeed, with
his conservative ideas of proper feminine self-restraint, Louise's calm
passivity and undemonstrative attitude were a proof of her superiority;
had she blushed overmuch, cried, or thrown herself into his arms, he
would have doubted the wisdom of so easy a selection. It was true he had
known her scarcely three weeks; if he chose to be content with that, his
own accessible record of three centuries should be sufficient for her,
and condone any irregularity.
Nevertheless, as an hour slipped away and Louise did not make her
appearance, either on the veranda or in the little sitting-room off the
hall, Mainwaring became more uneasy as to the incompleteness of their
interview. Perhaps a faint suspicion of the inadequacy of her response
began to trouble him; but he still fatuously regarded it rather as
owing to his own hurried and unfinished declaration. It was true that
he hadn't said half what he intended to say; it was true that she might
have misunderstood it as the conventional gallantry of the situation,
as--terrible thought!--the light banter of the habitual love-making
American, to which she had been accustomed; perhaps even now she
relegated him to the level of Greyson, and this accounted for her
singular impassiveness--an impassiveness that certainly was singular
now he reflected upon it--that might have been even contempt. The last
thought pricked his deep conscientiousness; he walked hurriedly up and
down the veranda, and then, suddenly re-entering his room, took up a
sheet of note-paper, and began to write to her:--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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