No one who has had prosperity in the egoistic-social sphere, who has had a comfortable home, for example, will choose adversity, will thereafter prefer to live in a tenement, noisy, squalid. No man who has experienced the greater profundities of virile control of the total erotic situation will choose to give any less of himself to his wife. No wife who has received from her husband the maximum that a man can give, which is himself—that is, his supreme control of himself and of her—will choose to look for anything greater or higher, for it does not exist even in the most extravagant imagination. § 202 In the marriage of the future we must make sure that the art of love is thoroughly learned by the husband. Without it, he has only a small chance of making a successful marriage. And we must see to it that this new art of love be not like Ovid’s the adulterer’s art of winning a woman away from her home, but the husband’s art of retaining her in it. This will require a readjustment, possibly of the concept of “home.” The home meant here is not in any sense the material house and furniture and embellishments. The home is the family, to which all the members should belong in a sense far more spiritual than the average. The truly mated couple belong to the family forever and to the children, until the latter marry and make families of their own. Any deflection from the purely hologamous ideal on the part of either the husband-father or wife-mother is a misfortune to the latter, but unequivocally the fault of the former. The marriage of the future, if it is to follow the single-standard pattern of equal joy for equal mutuality, will be in no way inferior to any type of so-called romantic marriage of today. It will have all the totality of fusion of the individual’s body and soul, all the fusion of the personalities of the two mates. It will have all the finality and indissolubility now wished for it by the present generation whose marital relations begin to crumble in a year or less. It will never degenerate into a situation where life seems not worth living, but will be the only circumstance in which life is consciously and perennially known, as well as believed and felt, to be thoroughly worth while. By their confusion of the two levels of control women lose much of the happiness that would come to them from the direct control exercised over them by men, on the erotic level. Into the love episode egoistic-social impulses, being the uninvited guest at a feast, only intrude. Women’s sphere of active control is limited, on all rational grounds, to the work in the world which they choose for themselves apart from being wives.