It is also conceivable that the man, profoundly ignorant as many men are of the erotic needs of women, may utterly fail, in his behaviour towards his wife, to avail himself of the inestimable privilege he has of making himself complete man in the only way possible for a man to do. Through his entire married life he may suppose, in his ignorance, that his wife is by nature cold, unsympathetic and unresponsive. He is unlikely to find by accident the magic key to unlock the treasure of her passion, yet it exists, and he may, though he has fallen in love with her at first sight and she with him, be and remain the rest of his life blind to the possibilities quite within his reach. In either of these cases love at first sight is as helpless as any other love. The term has no very deep meaning except in so far as all love is love at first sight. In the majority of people true passionate love can never be experienced at first. Therefore no marriage is ever complete in the sense of ended, as far as possibilities of further development are concerned, until the death of one of the partners. If this is the case, then, it constitutes the unanswerable argument for indissoluble marriage, monogamy, not only with one partner but with that partner for life, providing, of course (an exceedingly rare combination), that it has not been actually demonstrated that there are real and insuperable incompatibilities. No marriage except a life marriage can be complete any more than a single demi-human existence can be complete until death has rendered any further development impossible. Just as a man can never know till the end of his life all the possibilities his life held for him, and should endeavour in every way to develop to its fullest every potentiality of expression of his personality, so no pair can ever know until the end of their joint life all the potentialities of the different ages of married life; for each age has its own. § 48 Adult sexuality is not an egoistic-social expression in any essential sense. While the gratification of sexual desire is at first entirely selfish, starting as it does in every individual before puberty in autoerotic practices, it never becomes thoroughly adult until, in the case of the man, he has secured in his mate her perfect satisfaction on which his own depends. He can never marry in the deepest sense if he retains his autoerotic tendencies. A man’s satisfaction on attaining solely his own erotic acme without reference to that of his mate, is in every case an autoerotic satisfaction. The woman, in this instance, is merely an impersonal object or instrument by means of which he produces an effect on himself. In this respect his woman is no more personal than his food.