Lee's next visitor was of a different quality. He was an old man,
very ill-dressed, the great size of his head, which was covered
with thick white hair, being the most notable thing about him.
Miss Jane introduced him, having met him at the door when she
parted with the lawyer.
'This is Clacher, brother,' she said. 'You remember it was he who
found William's body on the road.'
Lee did remember, as it had been mentioned in one of the letters
he had read. Miss Jane informed Lee further under her breath, that
Clacher was quite mad, although harmless, and that he got a living
by begging in the disguise of a hawker. He had called often since
the death of William, asking for the 'new Mr. Chartres.'
'I am very glad you have brought him to me,' said Lee. 'He may be
useful.'
He then advanced to the old pedlar, and held out his hand, saying,
'How do you do, Mr. Clacher?'
Clacher emitted a chuckling noise, and darted glances at odd
corners of the room--glances which, if it had been possible to
enclose them, would have been found to resemble blind alleys, as
they ran a certain distance into space and stopped without
lighting on anything. Then he said in a hoarse, harsh voice,
speaking to himself as much as to Lee, 'I'm gaun tae dae it
Englified.'
He pulled himself up with all the appearance of a man about to
make a lengthy statement; but instead of a speech he only
succeeded in a pitiful pantomimic display. He could not remember
what he had come to say. As if to stir up his dormant faculties he
began rubbing his head with both hands, gathering his thick hair
into shocks, and then scattering these asunder. While endeavouring
to make hay of his hair in this manner, his little fierce eyes,
like swivel-guns of exceedingly minute calibre, resumed firing
their blank shots into space. Then, satisfied apparently that
nothing could be done toward the tedding of his hair, he rubbed
his shaved cheeks, beat his forehead and his breast, and tore at
the fingers of both hands.
All at once he stood erect, and, as if he were resuming a train of
thought, or a conversation, said, 'It's a wonnerfu' secret.'
'Indeed?' said Lee, quietly.
'Ay; for it can pit another in the deid man's shoes ye stann' in.
But I was gaun tae dae it Englified. Ye micht check me when I gang
wrang.'
'Check you when you go wrong?'
'That's it! "Go wrong"--no, "gang wrang." Keep me richt--right,
will you, sir?'
'It's of no consequence to me, my good man,' replied Lee, 'whether
you speak Englified as you call it, or not; but I'll keep you
right if you like.'
'Thank you, thank you! But whaat----'
'What,' said Lee.
'Bide a wee, bide a wee!' cried Clacher, rubbing his hair.
'Ye see,' he continued, 'if I tak' time tae dae it Englified, I
forget it. Whaat wis it I wis gaun tae dae Englified, and whaat
for wis I gaun to dae it Englified? I canna' mind, I canna' mind.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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