'Ladies and gentlemen,' he began, with turgid tongue and desiccated throat, 'you are surprised that I should wish at this late hour to detain you with anything in the shape of a formal speech, however informal it may be.' The introductory sentence had been prepared. 'But,' he continued, staunching a wriggle, 'I--I have something to say. Mr. Chartres, I am neither a Communist nor a Nihilist'--this was to have been a side flourish, but out it came first--'still I would like to remark, in reference to a talk we had this afternoon, that I am of opinion that, if fortunes were things to be inherited by everybody, it might on the whole be better--eh--ah--or worse for society, taking into consideration the fact that wealth produces idleness, and idleness folly, and--eh--ah--sin, it might be better that most people should have to make their fortunes. Eh--ah--I am overwhelmed with a feeling such as one experiences when one gets something one didn't expect. Comfort, Mr. Chartres, is the greatest necessity of existence--I mean that to be comfortable is always of the greatest consequence, indeed, I may say, the very backbone--eh--ah--of comfort.' Now there is never the remotest necessity for speech-making, at least in private, although it is daily perpetrated, and unfailingly by wholly incompetent parties. It is like singing in this respect; only those who cannot care to perform. Human nature will never get past it; for there is a law which ordains that whatever one is unfit for must be attempted, especially out of season. What one can't do is the all-important thing. So Dempster reeled on, undeterred by the blank looks of his auditors, and an ominous sparkle in Miss Jane's eye--his body a mere thoroughfare of uninterrupted transmigration for the spirits of all things that crawl and squirm and twist and wriggle. 'And I am now, I am happy to say, exceedingly comfortable. After Muriel refused me I was like a ship in a storm, and so I put into the first port--eh--ah--I mean that I have found a comfortable haven, and I am sure Jane will make a very good wife.' Amazement stared from every eye, including Miss Jane's. She tried to simper in a dignified manner--but what was the man saying? 'She is like old wine--eh--ah'--he felt Miss Jane's eyes scorching him like burning-glasses. 'The difference between our ages--eh--ah----' He was now perspiring freely. 'The disadvantage of marrying a girl like Muriel is, that when she grows old'--he made a little halt here, but he was too far gone to draw back; over he went, head first--'when she grows old one would miss her beauty. The great advantage is that one can never miss what has never been there, and--I'll not be interrupted!' mopping his head, and gyrating fiercely; but not daring to meet again Miss Jane's eye, one full glance of which had been more than enough. 'There's nobody interrupting you, my dear Mr. Dempster,' said Lee. 'But is it true that you are going to marry my sister?'