A Preliminary Study of the Emotion of Love between the SexesBell, Sanford
Science
A Preliminary Study of the Emotion of Love between the Sexes
Bell, Sanford
Child psychology; Love
As in every other field of investigation, so here, we find that not
all of the facts conform to our classification. Thus occasionally
couples between eight and twelve or fourteen years of age are found
who enjoy each other's company and so pair off and freely express
their feelings as they do in the previous stage and also in the one
that follows. The boys of these couples are generally those of
effeminate tendencies who have been accustomed to play with girls
instead of with boys. They are never very highly respected by the
other boys, and later, at adolescence, are tolerated by the girls
rather than respected and sought by them. Again there are individuals
who are very timid in their general disposition, and are consequently
undemonstrative and inhibitive at all times.
We have emphasized the fact that children that have sex-love in this
second stage of its development, as a rule, avoid all direct
expressions of their feelings and that lovers are awkward,
embarrassed, self-conscious and ill-at-ease in each other's presence.
This is true when the conditions are such that their personalities
meet in mutual recognition without a third thing as a shield. They
are not yet in that stage of development wherein they, themselves,
become the chief objects of conversation and wherein endearments and
compliments become the chief stock-in-trade. However, the emotion has
its expression indirectly through games, plays and other incidents
that can be used as masks. Instead of direct contact of personalities
through the love confession as such, it is long-circuited through
some conventionality. In this regard the games of children are used
very effectively. The following games are the ones which I have
personally seen used oftenest: Post-office, Clap-in-clap-out,
Snap-and-catch-it, Skip-to-my-Lou, Way-down-in-the-Paw-Paw-Patch,
King-William, London-Bridge, Thread-the-Needle, Picking Grapes,
Digging-a-Well, Black-Man, Prison-Base, Tag, All-I-Want-is-a-Handsome-Man,
Green Gravel, Down-in-the-Meadow, All-Around-this-Pretty-Little-Maid.
These are merely the ones that have seemed favorites and by no means
exhaust the list of love games that I have seen used. Out of
eighty-three games of Washington (D. C.) children reported in the
American Anthropologist, by W. H. Babcock,[9] as many as thirty are love
games. In this, as in the previous stage, the embrace is the most
important love expression and stimulus. But in this stage it takes on
disguised forms or is excused by the ceremony of the games. Some are
kissing games, _e. g._, Post-Office, Paw-Paw-Patch, King William,
Picking Grapes, Digging-a-Well, etc.; some are hugging games, _e. g._,
London Bridge, Thread-the-Needle, etc., and some involve both hugging
and kissing, _e. g._, Green Grows the Willow Tree. The kiss is not the
frank love kiss given and received as such, but one called for by the
rules of the game. This makes the kissing relatively impersonal and
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