A Preliminary Study of the Emotion of Love between the SexesBell, Sanford
Science
A Preliminary Study of the Emotion of Love between the Sexes
Bell, Sanford
Child psychology; Love
demonstrative, we took advantage of our games to show our love by
choosing each other and giving the kiss or other mark of
affection required by the game. We especially enjoyed walking
home from school together or playing together when no one else
was by. My heart was almost broken when it was discovered that he
had been stealing small sums of money for some time in order to
give me the gifts which had made me so happy. I was not allowed
to have anything more to do with him, and he soon moved away.
About this time I fell in love with a young man twice as old as
I. He worked in my father's office and boarded with us. I loved
to be with him, and was especially happy when he took me with him
to church or some entertainment. When he would take me by the arm
and help me through the deep snow I felt very grown up and proud
of his attention. He cared for me as a little girl and I
worshipped him as my knight. I was very jealous when he showed
any young lady attention. Soon after this my father died and we
moved to a lonely station on the prairie. Again I fell in love
with a man more than twice my age whom I saw very seldom. I was
very happy when he took me on his lap or caressed me. I was very
shy both with him and about him, but magnified every look and
word and act until I convinced myself that he loved me as much as
I did him. I was intensely jealous, and when I did waken to the
fact that he loved a young lady I was nearly heart broken. No one
dreamed of this except a girl confidant. His marriage several
years after hurt me. I think he never suspected my feelings. When
about thirteen a boy a little older than I moved into our town
from the East, and we proceeded to fall in love with each other
at once. We wrote long letters to each other daily,--although we
sat across the aisle from each other--and handed them to each
other slyly when we thought no one was looking. When I was
obliged to remain at home one week he brought me a long letter
each evening after school. These letters were full of love and
jealousy, and were read over and over, and were often carried
next the heart. We took long walks and rides together, but I
cannot recall a single caress given or received during the two
years we were acknowledged lovers. I had received very strict
teaching in regard to such things. Both of us were easily teased
and very bashful when observed by others. When he was sent to a
town fifteen miles away he felt sure I would forget him and that
this meant the end of our beautiful love. I grieved over his
leaving and because we were not allowed to correspond, but was
really beginning to love a young man somewhat older so much that
I was not inconsolable. We were very jealous of each other; and
the news which came to each did not contribute to our peace of
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