I’ve rode a lot of broncs that didn’t sabe the meaning of a bit, but
that thing was less bridlewise than anything I ever seen. We grinds
back toward Paradise, smelling of burnt grease, gasoline and so forth.
I takes another look into that jug, and feels so elevated that I puts
my feet over the dashboard. Somehow that seems to give the critter
more freedom, and we goes faster.
I gets so expert right away that I can drive one-handed, and I
discovers a little jigger on the handle that will make her prick up
her ears at a touch. I gives her a few touches, and marvels at how
fast the mesquite goes past, when all to once I hears a yelp, and we
hits something or somebody, and when I stops I’m cross ways of the
road.
My machine is as dead as a nail. Pretty soon I hears a rustling noise
in the dark, and then old man Whittaker’s voice:
“Who run into me? Gol dingle dang yuh! Blasted mule couldn’t run
faster than I could! Hey, you feller with a autymobile! Ain’t yuh got
no sense? Gol dang your soul, I’ll show yuh how yuh can run me down!
_Bang!_”
He cut loose with that six-gun, and I drops out the other side and
sneaks behind a tree.
I hears the old man cussing some more, and pretty soon he finds the
machine and strikes a match. He has to light the second one before he
finds what he’s looking for. He holds the match above his head for a
minute and then wails:
“Gol dang yuh, Chuck! Why didn’t yuh speak? Aw ——! Chuckie, where did
I hit yuh? Can’t yuh speak to a feller? Are yuh dead? My ——!”
He’s silent for a spell, and then he starts again:
“Where’s that danged slow-footed mule? Here yuh are, yuh long-eared
snail! Got to get a doctor. Self-defense—nope, accident. Whoa! Maybe
his neck is broke, too. Aw, this ain’t no way to celebrate nohow.”
He pilgrims off up the road, complaining about everything and cussing
that mule for taking him all over the State instead of straight to the
Cross J. I’d opine that the old man was so excited that he’d taken the
wrong road out of town.
I hauls the front end of that machine around again, and winds her up.
If that front end hadn’t been against a rock my obituary would have
been written right there in the dusty road, ’cause she’s wide open,
with no brake set. She’s backing and filling when I hops aboard, and
we begins our merry ride once more.
I rubs my heel on Chuck’s ear and yells:
“Chuck, you’re dead! Old man Whittaker shot yuh.”
“Tha’s good,” he replies. “Same to you and many of ’em.”
We runs slow-like to Paradise, and I bumps the front end of the
machine into McFee’s corral to stop her. I gives Chuck an alcoholic
anesthetic, and leaves him there. I ambles over to the town, and finds
a crowd in front of Mike’s place. I moves up closer and hears the
conversation.
“It was deplorable,” I hears old man Whittaker state, with tears in
his voice. “I loved Chuck like he was my own son. It was a accident,
Bill—just accidental. You don’t think I’d kill him with malice
aforethought, do yuh, Bill?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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