While employed at the Mission-house in Khartoum, Father Ohrwalder came on three or four occasions to see me, the last occasion being, I believe, about a month before his escape. We would sit together talking of old times, commiserate each other on our |183| hard lot, and guardedly, very guardedly, breathe a hope that, in some way and by some means, our release would come, but I have no recollection that we ever confided to each other any plans for escape. Father Ohrwalder knew that I had had letters written by some Greeks, but I do not think he knew of any of my plans. That we did not openly discuss such plans now appears to me strange—and yet it is not strange. Where all led for years a life of falsehood, in which deception of self had a no less part than that of others, suspicious of every one around us, trusting no one, what wonder that deceit became a second nature, and that truth, honour, and morality—that is to say, morality as preached in Europe—should have retired to vanishing point! When I heard of Father Ohrwalder’s escape, the conclusion I at once jumped to was that my guides, seeing the impossibility of effecting my escape from Khartoum, had come to some arrangement with him. How fervently I cursed them all, but I did not pray for their recapture. Even had I done so, it would have been useless. There was nothing, provided you had money with which to purchase camels and arrange a couple of relays in the desert, to prevent every one who wished to, escaping from Omdurman. Your guides had only to lead you away from any settlements; no pursuers could overtake you once you reached your first relay, fast as their camels might go, and you would travel at twice the speed the news of your flight could, besides having some hours’ start of it. In the event of your coming |184| across any straggler on the desert, a few dollars would silence his tongue, for the dollar is not more “almighty” in America than it was in the Soudan. Supposing the dollars did not appeal to him, and your bullet missed its mark, the chances were a thousand to one against his picking up your pursuers on the route you had come, for they would make to the settlements near the river, and waste their time in useless inquiries, while you were lengthening the distance between you. |185| CHAPTER XV DIVORCED AND MARRIED