A Proposal Under Difficulties: A FarceBangs, John Kendrick
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A Proposal Under Difficulties: A Farce
Bangs, John Kendrick
American drama -- 19th century; Comedy plays; Marriage proposals -- Drama; New York (N.Y.) -- Drama
_Barlow._ Yes, almost too fine to be shut up in-doors. Why aren't you
driving, or--or playing golf, or--ah--or being out-doors somewhere? You
need exercise, old man; you look a little pale. (_Aside._) I must get
him away from here somehow. Deuced awkward having another fellow about
when you mean to propose to a woman.
_Yardsley._ Oh, I'm well enough!
_Barlow_ (_solicitously_). You don't look it--by Jove, you don't.
(_Suddenly inspired._) No, you don't, Bob. You overestimate your
strength. It's very wrong to overestimate one's strength.
People--ah--people have died of it. Why, I'll bet you a hat you can't
start now and walk up to Central Park and back in an hour. Come. I'll
time you. (_Rises and takes out watch._) It is now four-ten. I'll wager
you can't get back here before five-thirty. Eh? Let me get your hat.
[_Starts for door._
_Yardsley_ (_with a laugh_). Oh no; I don't bet--after four. But I say,
did you see Billie Wilkins?
_Barlow_ (_returning in despair_). Nope.
_Yardsley_ (_aside_). Now for a bit of strategy. (_Aloud._) He was
looking for you at the club. (_Aside._) Splendid lie! (_Aloud._) Had
seats for the--ah--the Metropolitan to-night. Said he was looking for
you. Wants you to go with him. (_Aside._) That ought to start him along.
_Barlow._ I'll go with him.
[Illustration: "I'LL TIME YOU"]
_Yardsley_ (_eagerly_). Well, you'd better let him know at once, then.
Better run around there and catch him while there's time. He said if he
didn't see you before half-past four he'd get Tom Parker to go. Fine
show to-night. Wouldn't lose the opportunity if I were you. (_Looking at
his watch._) You'll just about have time to do it now if you start at
once.
[_Grasps BARLOW by arm, and tries to force him out. BARLOW
holds back, and is about to remonstrate, when DOROTHY enters.
Both men rush to greet her; YARDSLEY catches her left hand,
BARLOW her right._
_Dorothy_ (_slightly embarrassed_). Why, how do you do--this is an
unexpected pleasure--both of you? Excuse my left hand, Mr. Yardsley; I
should have given you the other if--if you'd given me time.
_Yardsley._ Don't mention it, I pray. The unexpectedness is wholly mine,
Miss Andrews--I mean--ah--the pleasure is--
_Barlow._ Wholly mine.
_Dorothy_ (_withdrawing her hands from both and sitting down_). I
haven't seen either of you since the Perkinses' dance. Wasn't it a
charming affair?
[Illustration: "START AT ONCE"]
_Yardsley._ Delightful I--ah--I didn't know that the Perkinses--
_Barlow_ (_interrupting_). It was a good deal of a crush, though. As
Mrs. Van Darling said to me, "You always meet--"
_Yardsley._ It's a pity Perkins isn't more of a society man, though,
don't you think?
_Dorothy._ Oh, I don't know. I've always found him very pleasant. He is
so sincere.
_Barlow._ Isn't he, though? He looked bored to death all through the
dance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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