A Question of MarriageVaizey, George de Horne, Mrs.
General
A Question of Marriage
Vaizey, George de Horne, Mrs.
Single women -- Fiction
Miggles was silent, blinking her little eyes, and panting after the
exertion of talking. Gradually a pucker gathered on her forehead, and
an expression of anxiety spread over her face.
"There is only one thing that troubles me--only one thing; but it's very
serious. I can't"--she turned solemn, innocent eyes upon the girl's
face--"I can't feel myself a sinner! That's a great secret, my dear,
but you've been so kind to me this last week that I feel I can make the
confidence. Of course I should not wish it repeated. No! isn't it sad?
I've tried my best, but I can't do it. It seems to me that I have done
my best. I was a good daughter. My dear mother died blessing my name;
and with the dear Gorings I've done my duty--for love, I've done it, far
more than money. All through I've done my duty, and I have loved God
and the people round me. I've never felt ill-will towards a living
creature; and when I come to search for my sins, dear--really and
truly--I tell you in confidence, _I can't find them_," cried Miggles
sadly. She lowered her chin, glancing sideways at Vanna as a shamed
child might do discovered in the perpetration of an infantile
peccadillo, and Vanna smiled a tender, humorous response.
"Can't you, Miggles? Not if you try very hard? I can't help you, I'm
afraid. My bad memory refuses to remind me of your crimes. It's a
serious state of affairs."
"It is, dear," agreed Miggles gravely. "I've been taking myself to
task, lying here upon this bed, and examining into the state of my soul.
I fed very grateful, and full of faith, and quite tranquil and happy at
the thought of passing away. I could not fed that, you know, if I had a
`conviction of sin,' like all the good people in books. It has always
put me so terribly out of the way when I have failed to please any one,
and they have been cold and stand-off in their manner. It does happen
like that sometimes, even with the best intentions... If I believed I
had grieved my dear Heavenly Father, how wretched I should be! But I
don't, dear, I don't. I am quite happy, quite at peace. The question
is, _Am I justified_? It would be rather a comfort to be a Catholic
sometimes--would it not, dear?--and confess to a dear, saintly old
priest. Not, of course, that I could subscribe to their creed I can
tell you that I've been quite upset in church sometimes when they intone
the Litany, and call themselves miserable sinners in such very
despondent tones. I did not feel myself a miserable sinner, and it was
no use pretending that I did. That made me wretched in another way, for
I thought I must be a Pharisee, which would be worst of all!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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