England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Rogues and vagabonds -- Fiction
“The Burgomaster’s Breakfast” had been sold to a new customer, a
venerable connoisseur, blessed with a great fortune and a large
picture-gallery. The old gentleman was in raptures with the
picture--with its tone, with its breadth, with its grand feeling for
effect, with its simple treatment of detail. It wanted nothing, in his
opinion, but a little cleaning. Mr. Pickup knew the raw and ticklish
state of the surface, however, far too well, to allow of even an
attempt at performing this process, and solemnly asserted, that he was
acquainted with no cleansing preparation which could be used on the
Rembrandt without danger of “flaying off the last exquisite glazings of
the immortal master’s brush.” The old gentleman was quite satisfied with
this reason for not cleaning the Burgomaster, and took away his purchase
in his own carriage on the spot.
For three weeks we heard nothing more of him. At the end of that time, a
Hebrew friend of Mr. Pickup, employed in a lawyer’s office, terrified
us all by the information that a gentleman related to our venerable
connoisseur had seen the Rembrandt, had pronounced it to be an impudent
counterfeit, and had engaged on his own account to have the picture
tested in a court of law, and to charge the seller and maker thereof
with conspiring to obtain money under false pretenses. Mr. Pickup and I
looked at each other with very blank faces on receiving this agreeable
piece of news. What was to be done? I recovered the full use of my
faculties first; and I was the man who solved that important and
difficult question, while the rest were still utterly bewildered by it.
“Will you promise me five and twenty pounds in the presence of these
gentlemen if I get you out of this scrape?” said I to my terrified
employer. Ishmael Pickup wrung his dirty hands and answered, “Yesh, my
dear!”
Our informant in this awkward matter was employed at the office of the
lawyers who were to have the conducting of the case against us; and he
was able to tell me some of the things I most wanted to know in relation
to the picture.
I found out from him that the Rembrandt was still in our customer’s
possession. The old gentleman had consented to the question of its
genuineness being tried, but had far too high an idea of his own
knowledge as a connoisseur to incline to the opinion that he had been
taken in. His suspicious relative was not staying in the house, but was
in the habit of visiting him, every day, in the forenoon. That was as
much as I wanted to know from others. The rest depended on myself, on
luck, time, human credulity, and a smattering of chemical knowledge
which I had acquired in the days of my medical studies. I left the
conclave at the picture-dealer’s forthwith, and purchased at the nearest
druggist’s a bottle containing a certain powerful liquid, which I
decline to particularize on high moral grounds. I labeled the bottle
“The Amsterdam Cleansing Compound”; and I wrapped round it the following
note:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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