"They are not sad tears, Zara," I said; "I think they come from a
strong desire I have to be what you are, what your brother is, what
that dead musician must have been. Why, I have longed, and do long for
fame, for wealth, for the world's applause, for all the things which
you seem to think so petty and mean. How can I help it? Is not fame
power? Is not money a double power, strong to assist one's self and
those one loves? Is not the world's favour a necessary means to gain
these things?"
Zara's eyes gleamed with a soft and pitying gentleness.
"Do you understand what you mean by power?" she asked. "World's fame?
World's wealth? Will these things make you enjoy life? You will perhaps
say yes. I tell you no. Laurels of earth's growing fade; gold of
earth's getting is good for a time, but it palls quickly. Suppose a man
rich enough to purchase all the treasures of the world--what then? He
must die and leave them. Suppose a poet or musician so famous that all
nations know and love him: he too must die, and go where nations exist
no longer. And you actually would grasp ashes and drink wormwood,
little friend? Music, the heaven-born spirit of pure sound, does not
teach you so!"
I was silent. The gleam of the strange jewel Zara always wore flashed
in my eyes like lightning, and anon changed to the similitude of a
crimson star. I watched it, dreamily fascinated by its unearthly
glitter.
"Still," I said, "you yourself admit that such fame as that of
Shakespeare or Wagner becomes a universal monument to their memories.
That is something, surely?"
"Not to them," replied Zara; "they have partly forgotten that they ever
were imprisoned in such a narrow gaol as this world. Perhaps they do
not care to remember it, though memory is part of immortality."
"Ah!" I sighed restlessly; "your thoughts go beyond me, Zara. I cannot
follow your theories."
Zara smiled.
"We will not talk about them any more," she said; "you must tell
Casimir--he will teach you far better than I can."
"What shall I tell him?" I asked; "and what will he teach me?"
"You will tell him what a high opinion you have of the world and its
judgments," said Zara, "and he will teach you that the world is no more
than a grain of dust, measured by the standard of your own soul. This
is no mere platitude--no repetition of the poetical statement 'THE
MIND'S THE STANDARD OF THE MAN;' it is a fact, and can be proved as
completely as that two and two make four. Ask Casimir to set you free."
"To set me free?" I asked, surprised.
"Yes!" and Zara looked at me brightly. "He will know if you are strong
enough to travel!" And, nodding her head gaily to me, she left the room
to prepare for the dinner-hour which was fast approaching.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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