I pondered over her words a good deal without arriving at any
satisfactory conclusion as to the meaning of them. I did not resume the
conversation with her, nor did I speak to Heliobas as yet, and the days
went on smoothly and pleasantly till I had been nearly a week in
residence at the Hotel Mars. I now felt perfectly well and strong,
though Heliobas continued to give me his remedies regularly night and
morning. I began an energetic routine of musical practice: the
beautiful piano in the drawing-room answered readily to my touch, and
many a delightful hour slipped by as I tried various new difficulties
on the key-board, or worked out different combinations of harmony. I
spent a great deal of my time at the organ in the little chapel, the
bellows of which were worked by electricity, in a manner that gave not
the least trouble, and was perfectly simple of management.
The organ itself was peculiarly sweet in tone, the "vox humana" stop
especially producing an entrancingly rich and tender sound. The
silence, warmth, and beauty of the chapel, with the winter sunlight
streaming through its stained windows, and the unbroken solitude I
enjoyed there, all gave fresh impetus to the fancies of my brain, and a
succession of solemn and tender melodies wove themselves under my
fingers as a broidered carpet is woven on the loom.
One particular afternoon, I was sitting at the instrument as usual, and
my thoughts began to busy themselves with the sublime tragedy of
Calvary. I mused, playing softly all the while, on the wonderful,
blameless, glorious life that had ended in the shame and cruelty of the
Cross, when suddenly, like a cloud swooping darkly across the heaven of
my thoughts, came the suggestive question: "Is it all true? Was Christ
indeed Divine--or is it all a myth, a fable--an imposture?"
Unconsciously I struck a discordant chord on the organ--a faint tremor
shook me, and I ceased playing. An uncomfortable sensation came over
me, as of some invisible presence being near me and approaching softly,
slowly, yet always more closely; and I hurriedly rose from my seat,
shut the organ, and prepared to leave the chapel, overcome by a strange
incomprehensible terror. I was glad when I found myself safely outside
the door, and I rushed into the hall as though I were being pursued;
yet the oddest part of my feeling was, that whoever thus pursued me,
did so out of love, not enmity, and that I was almost wrong in running
away. I leaned for a moment against one of the columns in the hall,
trying to calm the excited beating of my heart, when a deep voice
startled me:
"So! you are agitated and alarmed! Unbelief is easily scared!"
I looked up and met the calm eyes of Heliobas. He appeared to be
taller, statelier, more like a Chaldean prophet or king than I had ever
seen him before. There was something in his steady scrutiny of my face
that put me to a sort of shame, and when he spoke again it was in a
tone of mild reproof.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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