French fiction -- Translations into English; Paris (France) -- Fiction
"I never shall forget it, Louise, never fear; my heart is full of
gratitude. This morning, even, he was so affectionate and kind to me--
but his health is ruined; he is now a weak old man. Soon--I not only
fear it, but I am certain of it--soon he will be incapable of work.
I can see his poor hands tremble now. He will not even have a right to a
pension. If he could not continue to work in the office he could hardly
obtain a meagre relief, and that by favor only. And for long years I can
only hope for an insufficient salary. Oh! to think that the catastrophe
draws near, that one of these days he may fall ill and become infirm,
perhaps, and that we shall be almost needy and I shall be unable to
surround him with care in his old age. That is what makes me tremble!"
They walked along side by side upon the moist, soft ground of the large
garden, under the leafless trees, where hung a slight penetrating mist
which made them shiver under their wraps.
"Amedee," said she, looking at the young man with a serious gentleness,
"I have known you from a child, and I am the elder. I am twenty-two;
that makes me almost an old maid, Amedee, and gives me the right to scold
you a little. You lack confidence in life, my friend, and it is wrong at
your age. Do you think I do not see that my father has aged very much,
that his eyesight fails, that we are much more cramped in circumstances
in the house than formerly? Are we any the more sad? Mamma makes fewer
little dishes and I teach in Paris, that is all. We live nearly the same
as before, and our dear Maria--she is the pet of us all, the joy and
pride of the house-well, our Maria, all the same, has from time to time a
new frock or a pretty hat. I have no experience, but it seems to me that
in order to feel really unhappy I must have nobody to love--that is the
only privation worth the trouble of noticing. Do you know that I have
just had one of the greatest pleasures of my life? I noticed that papa
did not smoke as much as usual, in order to be economical, poor man!
Fortunately I found a new pupil at Batignolles, and as soon as I had the
first month's pay in my pocket I bought a large package of tobacco and
put it beside his work. One must never complain so long as one is
fortunate enough to keep those one loves. I know the secret grief that
troubles you regarding your father; but think what he has suffered, that
he loves you, that you are his only consolation. And when you have
gloomy thoughts, come and see your old friends, Amedee. They will try to
warm your heart at the fireside of their friendship, and to give you some
of their courage, the courage of poor people which is composed of a
little indifference and a little resignation."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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