As I read on, his burning words seemed almost intended as a defence. He
had outraged my feelings, and for that he was to-day suffering exquisite
torture, he said; but in the next paragraph he railed against the social
prejudices of the age and the luke-warm character of contemporary love.
In another century, he prophesied, the artificial barriers imposed by a
narrow and fast-rotting civilization would be swept away by the mighty
wave of passion which, pent up in the bosoms of strong men through a
score of generations, was about to inundate the world. Under the impulse
of this idea, the closing portions of his twelve-paged letter became a
fierce tirade against the existing state of society; but the last
sentence was so astonishing to me individually, that I blushed with the
acuteness of my feelings. "Believing as I do," he wrote, "in the
expansion and overflow of the human soul, I would fain have saved you
from the cramped and bloodless nature to which you are about to ally
yourself in preference to mine. He has robbed me of you, and thereby
broken the last tie which held together our conflicting dispositions.
With him you can never be supremely happy or supremely miserable,--which
seems to me a lot so wretched that my heart, though heavy with the
anguish of its own sorrow, is wrung more with pity than with pain."
His meaning was obvious, and I was still sitting with this strange
epistle in my lap when Mr. Spence arrived. It would be affectation to
say I was greatly surprised, when, after a few moments, he made to me a
confession of his love. From his words of the previous evening, from a
host of little indications which they had recalled to me, and finally
from the jealous suspicions of the unhappy artist, I was not wholly
unprepared for this result. There was nothing in the manner of his
declaration that calls for mention. It was, as he said, a confession
long deferred and struggled against, but he had been mastered at last by
a power stronger than himself. He had come, he said, to make this
acknowledgment of his feelings, no matter what might be the result; for
there was something he must ask me to listen to, which it would be
needful that I should know before he could dare to ask me to become his
wife, or I should be able to answer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account