England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
Rose had shut herself up in wild misery and passion. She had declared to
herself that she wanted to see no one; that she would not open her door,
nor subject herself over again to such reproaches as had been poured
upon her. But yet when she heard her mother pass without even a word,
all the springs of the girl’s being seemed to stand still. She could not
believe it. Never before in all her life had such a terrible occurrence
taken place. Last night, when she had gone to bed to escape remark, Mrs.
Damerel had come in ere she went to her own room and asked after the
pretended headache, and kissed her, and bade her keep quite still and be
better to-morrow. Rose got up from where she was sitting, expecting her
mother’s appeal and intending to resist, and went to the door and put
her ear against it and listened. All was quiet. Mrs. Damerel had gone
steadily along the corridor, had entered the rooms of the other
children, and now shut her own door--sure signal that the day was over.
When this inexorable sound met her ears, Rose crept back again to her
seat and wept bitterly, with an aching and vacancy in her heart which it
is beyond words to tell. It seemed to her that she was abandoned, cut
off from the family love, thrown aside like a waif and stray, and that
things would never be again as they had been. This terrible conclusion
always comes in to aggravate the miseries of girls and boys. Things
could never mend, never again be as they had been. She cried till she
exhausted herself, till her head ached in dire reality, and she was sick
and faint with misery and the sense of desolation; and then wild schemes
and fancies came into her mind. She could not bear it--scarcely for
those dark helpless hours of the night could she bear it--but must be
still till daylight; then, poor forlorn child, cast off by every one,
abandoned even by her mother, with no hope before her but this marriage,
which she hated, and no prospect but wretchedness--then she made up her
mind she would go away. She took out her little purse and found a few
shillings in it, sufficient to carry her to the refuge which she had
suddenly thought of. I think she would have liked to fly out of sight
and ken and hide herself forever, or at least until all who had been
unkind to her had broken their hearts about her, as she had read in
novels of unhappy heroines doing. But she was too timid to take such a
daring step, and she had no money, except the ten shillings in her poor
little pretty purse, which was not meant to hold much. When she had made
up her mind, as she thought, or to speak more truly, when she had been
quite taken possession of by this wild purpose, she put a few
necessaries into a bag to be ready for her flight, taking her little
prayer-book last of all, which she kissed and cried over with a heart
wrung with many pangs. Her father had given it her on the day she was
nineteen--not a year since. Ah, why was not she with him, who always
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