England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
understood her, or why was not he here? He would never have driven her
to such a step as this. He was kind, whatever any one might say of him.
If he neglected some things, he was never hard upon any one--at least,
never hard upon Rose--and he would have understood her now. With an
anguish of sudden sorrow, mingled with all the previous misery in her
heart, she kissed the little book and put it into her bag. Poor child!
it was well for her that her imagination had that sad asylum at least to
take refuge in, and that the rector had not lived long enough to show
how hard in worldliness a soft and self-indulgent man can be.
Rose did not go to bed. She had a short, uneasy sleep, against her will,
in her chair--dropping into constrained and feverish slumber for an hour
or so in the dead of the night. When she woke, the dawn was blue in the
window, making the branches of the honeysuckle visible through the
narrow panes. There was no sound in heaven or earth except the birds
chirping, but the world seemed full of that; for all the domestic chat
has to be got over in all the nests before men awake and drown the
delicious babble in harsher commotions of their own. Rose got up and
bathed her pale face and red eyes, and put on her hat. She was cold, and
glad to draw a shawl round her and get some consolation and strength
from its warmth; and then she took her bag in her hand, and opening her
door, noiselessly stole out. There was a very early train which passed
the Dingle station, two miles from Dinglefield, at about five o’clock,
on its way to London; and Rose hoped, by being in time for that, to
escape all pursuit. How strange it was, going out, like a thief into the
house, all still and shut up, with its windows closely barred, the
shutters up, and a still, unnatural half-light gleaming in through the
crevices! As she stole down-stairs her very breathing, the sound of her
own steps, frightened Rose; and when she looked in at the open door of
the drawing-room and saw all the traces of last night’s peaceful
occupations, a strange feeling that all the rest were dead and she a
fugitive stealing guiltily away, came on her so strongly that she could
scarcely convince herself it was not true. It was like the half-light
that had been in all the rooms when her father lay dead in the house,
and made her shiver. Feeling more and more like a thief, she opened the
fastenings of the hall door, which were rusty and gave her some trouble.
It was difficult to open them, still more difficult to close it softly
without alarming the house; and this occupied her mind, so that she made
the last step almost without thinking what she was doing. When she had
succeeded in shutting the door, then it suddenly flashed upon her,
rushed upon her like a flood--the consciousness of what she had done.
She had left home, and all help and love and protection; and--Heaven
help her!--here she was out of doors in the open-eyed day, which looked
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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