England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
“More of Marsden’s stuff,” he said, with a low laugh; and his own voice
sounded far off to him, as he lay looking at that strange little
picture--a distant view of the two women against the light, with the sky
and the window behind; somebody’s wife and daughter--his own--his very
Rose, and she who had been his companion since his youth. Strange that
he should look at them so quietly, almost with an amused sense of
novelty, without any tragic feeling or even pain to speak of, in the
thought that he was going away shortly and would see them no more. He
fell to thinking of a thousand things as he lay there watching them, yet
not watching them. Not the things, perhaps, that a dying man ought to
think of; little nothings, chance words that he had forgotten for years,
lines of poetry, somehow connected with his present condition, though he
did not remember the links of connection. “The casement slowly grows, a
glittering square,” he said to himself, and made an effort to think
whence the line came, and why it should have at this moment thrust
itself into his mind. Then he fell altogether into a poetic mood, and
one disconnected line followed another into his mind, giving him a vague
sense of melancholy pleasure. He said one or two of them aloud, calling
the attention of his nurses--but it was not to them he was speaking.
Finally, his mind centred on one which first of all seemed to strike him
for its melody alone:--
For who, to dumb forgetfulness a prey,
This pleasing, anxious being e’er resigned,
Left the warm precincts of the cheerful day,
Nor cast one longing, lingering look behind?
He said this aloud once or twice over. “‘To dumb forgetfulness a prey!’
that is not my feeling--not my feeling; the rest is very true. Gray does
not get half justice nowadays. How it satisfies the ear, flowing round
and soft! ‘To dumb forgetfulness!’ now I wonder what he meant by that?”
“You are better, papa,” said Rose, softly. Her mother stayed behind, not
able to speak; but the girl, in her simplicity, thought the poetry “a
good sign.”
“No, Rose. ‘Dumb forgetfulness,’--it is not that, child; that is not
what one fears; to be sure there is a coldness and blackness that might
chime in with the words. But the rest is true, ‘the warm precincts of
the cheerful day;’ warm is a living word altogether; it is not warm out
here.”
“I will put the quilt on the bed,” said wistful Rose, thinking he
complained of cold.
“No,” he said, roused, with a gentle laugh; “the quilt will do nothing
for me; I am not cold--not yet; I suppose I shall be presently. Is your
mother there? My dear, help me with your experience. I dislike cold so
much; does one feel it creeping up before one dies?”
“Oh, Herbert, dearest!” said his wife, heart-broken. What could she
answer to such a question?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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