England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
Rose did what she was told with the docility of helplessness. She lay
back in the chair, and cried softly. In this new strait she was as a
child, and all the child’s overwhelming sense of desolation, and
half-superstitious awe of the terrible event which was coming, weighed
down her heart. Pity, and terror, and grief mingled in her mind, till it
seemed unable to contain so much emotion. She sat and listened to the
low voices in the next room, and watched the side gleam of light which
came from the half-open door. The very world seemed hushed while this
drama came to its conclusion, and there was not a sound without or
within but the soft movements in the sick-room, and the low voices. How
many new experiences had come into her simple life in so short a time!
Darkness overshadowed the earth already, so that her pleasant pathway in
it seemed lost; and now here was Death, that visitor who is always so
doubly appalling the first time he enters a peaceful house.
“Well, Nolan, you have come in time, for I am just setting out,” said
the rector, in a voice stronger than it had been, his anxious wife
thought. “Why, man, don’t look so grave; and you, my dear, don’t cry, to
discourage me. Set me out on my journey a little more cheerily! I never
thought much about dying people before; and mind what I say, Nolan,
because it is your work. Of course, to those who have never thought
about such matters before, religion is all-important; but there’s more
in it than that. When a man’s dying he wants humoring. Such strange
fancies come into one’s head. I am not at all troubled or serious to
speak of; but it is a very odd thing, if you think of it, to set out on
such a journey without the least notion where you are to go!”
And he laughed again. It was not harsh nor profane, but a soft laugh, as
easy as a child’s. I do not know why it should have horrified the
attendants so, or what there is wrong in a laugh so gentle from a
death-bed; but the hearers both shivered with natural pain and almost
terror. They tried to lead him to more serious thoughts, but in vain.
His mind, which had been serious enough before, had got somehow
dissipated, intoxicated by the approach of the unknown. He could think
of nothing else. A certain levity even mingled in his excitement. He
asked questions almost with eagerness--questions no one could
answer--about the accessories of death. He was curious beyond
description about all that he would have to go through. “What a pity
that I shall never be able to tell you what it is, and how I liked it!”
he said, reflectively; “at least until you know all about it, too; we
can compare notes then.” He would not give up this kind of talk. After
the prayers for the sick, which Mr. Nolan read, he resumed the same
subject; and if it is possible to imagine anything that could have made
this terrible moment of her life more bitter to poor Mrs. Damerel, I
think this would have been the one thing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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