CARISOPHUS. Good fellow, let us reason of the matter quietly: beat me no more. STEPHANO. Of this condition I will stay, if thou swear, as thou art an honest man, Thou wilt say nothing to the king of this when I am gone. CARISOPHUS. I will say nothing; here is my hand, as I am an honest man. STEPHANO. Then say on thy mind: I have taken a wise oath on him, have I not, trow ye? To trust such a false knave upon his honesty? As he is an honest man (quoth you?) he may bewray all to the king, And break his oath for this never a whit--but, my franion,[81] I tell you this one thing: If you disclose this, I will devise such a way, That whilst thou livest, thou shalt remember this day. CARISOPHUS. You need not devise for that, for this day is printed in my memory; I warrant you, I shall remember this beating till I die: But seeing of courtesy you have granted that we should talk quietly, Methinks in calling me knave you do me much injury. STEPHANO. Why so, I pray thee heartily? CARISOPHUS. Because I am the king’s man: keeps the king any knaves? STEPHANO. He should not; but what he doth, it is evident by thee, And as far as I can learn or understand, There is none better able to keep knaves in all the land. CARISOPHUS. O sir, I am a courtier: when courtiers shall hear tell, How you have used me, they will not take it well. STEPHANO. Nay, all right courtiers will ken me thank;[82] and wot you why? Because I handled a counterfeit courtier in his kind so finely. What, sir? all are not courtiers that have a counterfeit show; In a troop of honest men some knaves may stand, ye know, Such as by stealth creep in under the colour of honesty, Which sort under that cloak do all kinds of villainy, A right courtier is virtuous, gentle, and full of urbanity, Hurting no man, good to all, devoid of villainy: But such as thou art, fountains of squirrility and vain delights; Though you hang by the court, you are but flatt’ring parasites; As well deserving the right name of courtesy, As the coward knight the true praise of chivalry. I could say more, but I will not, for that I am your well-willer. In faith, Carisophus, you are no courtier but a caterpillar, A sycophant, a parasite, a flatterer, and a knave. Whether I will or no, these names you must have: How well you deserve this by your deeds it is known, For that so unjustly thou hast accused poor Damon, Whose woful case the gods help alone. CARISOPHUS. Sir, are you his servant, that you pity his case so? STEPHANO. No, bum troth, goodman Grumb, his name is Stephano: I am called Onaphets,[83] if needs you will know. The knave beginneth to sift me, but I turn my name in and out, _Cretizo cum Cretense_,[84] to make him a lout. [_Aside._ CARISOPHUS. What mumble you with yourself, Master Onaphets? STEPHANO. I am reckoning with myself how I may pay my debts.