_Here entereth_ ARISTIPPUS. ARISTIPPUS. Tho’ strange (perhaps) it seems to some, That I, Aristippus, a courtier am become: A philosopher of late, not of the meanest name, But now to the courtly behaviour my life I frame. Muse he that list, to you of good skill, I say that I am a philosopher still. Loving of wisdom is termed philosophy,[16] Then who is a philosopher so rightly as I? For in loving of wisdom proof doth this try, That _frustra sapit, qui non sapit sibi_. I am wise for myself: then tell me of troth, Is not that great wisdom, as the world go’th? Some philosophers in the street go ragged and torn, And feed on vile roots, whom boys laugh to scorn: But I in fine silks haunt Dionysius’ palace, Wherein with dainty fare myself I do solace. I can talk of philosophy as well as the best, But the strait kind of life I leave to the rest. And I profess now the courtly philosophy, To crouch, to speak fair, myself I apply, To feed the king’s humour with pleasant devices, For which I am called _Regius canis_. But wot ye who named me first the king’s dog? It was the rogue Diogenes, that vile grunting hog. Let him roll in his tub, to win a vain praise: In the court pleasantly I will spend all my days; Wherein what to do I am not to learn, What will serve mine own turn, I can quickly discern. All my time at school I have not spent vainly, I can help one: is not that a good point of philosophy? _Here entereth_ CARISOPHUS. CARISOPHUS. I beshrew your fine ears, since you came from school, In the court you have made many a wise man a fool: And though you paint out your feigned philosophy, So God help me, it is but a plain kind of flattery, Which you use so finely in so pleasant a sort, That none but Aristippus now makes the king sport. Ere you came hither, poor I was somebody; The king delighted in me, now I am but a noddy. ARISTIPPUS. In faith, Carisophus, you know yourself best, But I will not call you noddy, but only in jest, And thus I assure you, though I came from school To serve in this court, I came not yet to be the king’s fool; Or to fill his ears with servile squirrility.[17] That office is yours, you know it right perfectly. Of parasites and sycophants you are a grave[18] bencher, The king feeds you often from his own trencher, I envy not your state, nor yet your great favour, Then grudge not at all, if in my behaviour I make the king merry with pleasant urbanity, Whom I never abused to any man’s injury. CARISOPHUS. By Cock, sir, yet in the court you do[19] best thrive, For you get more in one day than I do in five.