IGNORANCE. With arguing here their foolish [saws] That is not worth three straws. I love not this whoreson 'losophers, Nor this great cunning extromers, That tell how far it is to the stars; I hate all manner cunning! I would ye knew it, I am Ignorance! A lord I am of greater puissance Than the king of England or France, Yea, the greatest lord living! I have servants at my retinue, That long to me, I assure you, Herewith in England, That with me, Ignorance, dwell still, And term of life continue will, Above five hundred thousand. SEN. Gog's nails, I have paid some of them, I trow. IGN. Why, man, what aileth thee so to blow? SEN. For I was at a shrewd fray. IGN. Hast thou any of them slain, then? SEN. Yea, I have slain them every man, Save them that ran away. IGN. Why, is any of them scaped and gone? SEN. Yea, by Gog's body, every one, All that ever were there. IGN. Why, then, they be not all slain. SEN. No, but I have put some to pain, For one whoreson there was, that turned again, And straight I cut off his ear. IGN. Then thou hast made him a cutpurse. SEN. Yea, but yet I served another worse! I smote off his leg by the hard arse, As soon as I met him there. IGN. By my troth, that was a mad deed! Thou shouldst have smit off his head, Then he should never have troubled thee more. SEN. Tush! then I had been but mad, For there was another man that had Smit off his head before! IGN. Then thou hast quit thee like a tall knight! SEN. Yea, that I have, by this light! But, I say, can you tell me right Where became my master? IGN. What, he that you call Humanity? SEN. Yea. IGN. I wot never, except he be Hid here in some corner. SEN. Gog's body! and true ye say, For yonder, lo! behold, ye may See where the mad fool doth lie. IGN. Now, on my faith and truth, It were even great alms To smite his head from his body! SEN. Nay, God forbid ye should do so, For he is but an innocent, lo! In manner of a fool. For as soon as I speak to him again, I shall turn his mind clean, And make him follow my school. IGN. Then bid him rise, let us hear him speak. SEN. Now, rise up, Master Huddypeke, Your tail toteth out behind! Fear not, man, stand up by and by; I warrant you rise up boldly! Here is none but is your friend. HU. I cry you mercy, master dear! IGN. Why, what is cause thou hidest thee here? HU. For I was almost for fear, Even clean out of my mind. SEN. Nay, it is the study that ye have had In this foolish losophy hath made you mad, And no other thing, i-wis. IGN. That is as true as the gospel! Therefore I have great marvel, That ever thou wilt follow the counsel Of yonder two knaves. HU. O sir, ye know right well this, That when any man is In other men's company, He must needs follow the appetite