HYPOCRISY. O, O, quoth he, keep again the sow; I come as fast as I can, I warrant you: Where is he that hath the sow to sell? I will give him money, if I like her well; Whether it be sow or hog, I do not greatly care, For by my occupation I am a butcher. DEVIL. O my child, how dost thou fare? HYPOCRISY. _Sancti amen_, who have we there? By the mass, I will buy none of thy ware; Thou art a chapman for the devil. DEVIL. What, my son, canst thou not tell, Who is here, and what I am? I am thine own father Satan. HYPOCRISY. Be you so, sir? I cry you mercy then; You may say I am homely, and lack learning, To liken my father's voice unto a sow's groaning: But, I pray you, show me the cause and why, That you called me hither so hastily? DEVIL. Ah, Hypocrisy, I am undone utterly. HYPOCRISY. Utterly undone! nay, stop there hardily; For I myself do know the contrary By daily experience: Do not I yet reign abroad? And as long as I am in the world, You have some treasure and substance. I suppose I have been the flower In setting forth thy laws and power Without any delay: By the mass, if I had not been, Thou haddest not been worth a Flander's pin At this present day. The time were too long now to declare, How many and great the number are, Which have deceived be; And brought clean from God's law Unto thy yoke and awe, Through the enticement of me. I have been busied since the world began, To graff thy laws in the heart of man, Where they ought to be refused: And I have so mingled God's commandments With vain zeals and blind intents, That they be greatly abused. I set up great idolatry With all[79] kind of filthy sodometry, To give mankind a fall: And I [have] brought up such superstition, Under the name of holiness and religion. That deceived almost all. As holy cardinals, holy popes, Holy vestments, holy copes, Holy hermits and friars, Holy priests, holy bishops, Holy monks, holy abbots, Yea, and all obstinate[80] liars: Holy pardons, holy beads, Holy saints, holy images, With holy, holy blood, Holy stocks, holy stones, Holy clouts, holy[81] bones; Yea, and holy holy wood. Holy skins, holy bulls, Holy rochets and cowls, Holy crouches and staves, Holy hoods, holy caps, Holy mitres, holy hats; Ah good holy holy knaves. Holy days, holy fastings, Holy twitching, holy tastings, Holy visions and sights, Holy wax, holy lead, Holy water, holy bread, To drive away spirits. Holy fire, holy palm, Holy oil, holy cream, And holy ashes also; Holy brooches, holy rings, Holy kneeling, holy censings, And a hundred trim-trams mo. Holy crosses, holy bells, Holy relics, holy jewels, Of mine own invention; Holy candles, holy tapers, Holy parchments, holy papers: Had not you a holy son?