CHAT. Because thy head is broken, was it I that broke? I saw thee, Rat, I tell thee, not once within this fortnight. DOCTOR RAT. No, marry, thou sawest me not; for why thou hadst no light; But I felt thee for all the dark, beshrew thy smooth cheeks! And thou groped me, this will declare any day this six weeks. [_Showing his head._ BAILY. Answer me to this, Master Rat, when caught you this harm of yours? DOCTOR RAT. A while ago, sir, God he knoweth; within less than these two hours. BAILY. Dame Chat, was there none with you (confess, i' faith) about that season? What, woman, let it be what it will, 'tis neither felony nor treason. CHAT. Yes, by my faith, Master Baily, there was a knave not far, Who caught one good filip on the brow with a door-bar. And well was he worthy, as it seemed to me: But what is that to this man, since this was not he? BAILY. Who was it, then? let's hear. DOCTOR RAT. Alas, sir, ask you that? Is it not made plain enough by the own mouth of dame Chat? The time agreeth, my head is broken, her tongue cannot lie; Only upon a bare nay, she saith it was not I. CHAT. No, marry, was it not indeed, ye shall hear by this one thing. This afternoon a friend of mine for good-will gave me warning. And bad me well look to my roost and all my capons' pens; For if I took not better heed, a knave would have my hens. Then I, to save my goods, took so much pains as him to watch; And as good fortune served me, it was my chance him for to catch. What strokes he bare away, or other what was his gains, I wot not, but I am sure he had something for his pains. BAILY. Yet tell'st thou not who it was. CHAT. Who it was? A false thief, That came like a false fox, my pullen[293] to kill and mischief. BAILY. But knowest thou not his name? CHAT. I know it, but what then? It was that crafty cullion[294] Hodge, my Gammer Gurton's man. BAILY. Call me the knave hither, he shall sure kiss the stocks. I shall teach him a lesson for filching hens or cocks. DOCTOR RAT. I marvel, Master Baily, so bleared be your eyes! An egg is not so full of meat, as she is full of lies: When she hath played this prank, to excuse all this gear, She layeth the fault on such a one as I know was not there. CHAT. Was he not there? look on his pate; that shall be his witness. DOCTOR RAT. I would my head were half so whole, I would seek no redress. BAILY. God bless you, Gammer Gurton. GAMMER. God 'eild[295] ye, master mine. BAILY. Thou hast a knave within thy house, Hodge, a servant of thine. They tell me that busy knave is such a filching one, That hen, pig, goose, or capon, thy neighbour can have none.