DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.[37] RALPH ROISTER DOISTER, _A vain-glorious, cowardly Blockhead._ MATTHEW MERRYGREEK, _a needy Humorist._ GAWIN GOODLUCK, _a Merchant._ TRISTRAM TRUSTY, _Friend of Gawin Goodluck._ DOBINET DOUGHTY, } _Servants of Ralph._ HARPAX, } TRUEPENNY, _Servant of Dame Custance._ SIM SURESBY, _Captain of a ship of Gawin Goodluck._ A SCRIVENER. DAME CHRISTIAN CUSTANCE, _A Widow, betrothed to Gawin Goodluck._ MADGE MUMBLECRUST, } TIBET TALKAPACE, } _Servants of Dame Custance._ ANNOT ALIFACE, } FOOTNOTES: [Footnote 37: [Not in the old copy.] ROISTER DOISTER. ACTUS I., SCÆNA 1. MATTHEW MERRYGREEK. _He entereth singing._ As long liveth the merry man (they say), As doth the sorry man, and longer by a day; Yet the grasshopper, for all his summer piping, Starveth in winter with hungry griping] Therefore another said saw doth men advise, That they be together both merry and wise. This lesson must I practise or else, ere long, With me, Matthew Merrygreek, it will be wrong. Indeed men so call me; for, by him that us bought, Whatever chance betide, I can take no thought. Yet wisdom would that I did myself bethink, Where to be provided this day of meat and drink; For know ye that, for all this merry note of mine, He might oppose me now, that should ask where I dine. My living lieth here and there, of God's grace, Sometime with this good man, sometime in that place; Sometime Lewis Loiterer biddeth me come near; Somewhiles Watkin Waster maketh us good cheer; Sometime Davy Diceplayer, when he hath well cast, Maketh revel-rout, as long as it will last; Sometime Tom Titivile[38] maketh us a feast; Sometime with Sir Hugh Pie I am a bidden guest; Sometime at Nichol Neverthrive's I get a sop; Sometime I am feasted with Bryan Blinkinsop; Sometime I hang on Hankyn Hoddydoddy's sleeve; But this day on Ralph Roister Doister's, by his leave. For truly of all men he is my chief banker, Both for meat and money, and my chief shoot-anchor.[39] Forsooth Roister Doister in that he doth say, And require what ye will, ye shall have no nay. But now of Roister Doister somewhat to express, That ye may esteem him after his worthiness, In these twenty towns, and seek him throughout, Is not the like stock whereon to graff a lout. All the day long is he facing and craking[40] Of his great acts in fighting and fray-making; But when Roister Doister is put to his proof, To keep the Queen's peace[41] is more for his behoof. If any woman smile, or cast him an eye, Up is he to the hard ears in love by and by: And in all the hot haste must she be his wife, Else farewell his good days, and farewell his life! Master Ralph Roister Doister is but dead and gone, Except she on him take some compassion.