ODOUR. I do, my lord, and have at my command The smell of flowers and odoriferous drugs, Of ointments sweet and excellent perfumes, And courtlike waters, which if once you smell, You in your heart would wish, as I suppose, That all your body were transform'd to nose. PHA. Olfactus, of all the Senses, your objects have the worst luck; they are always jarring with their contraries; for none can wear civet, but they are suspected of a proper bad scent[290]; whence the proverb springs, He smelleth best, that doth of nothing smell. SCAENA QUARTA. _The Bench and_ OLFACTUS, _as before_. TOBACCO, _apparelled in a taffeta mantle, his arms brown and naked, buskins made of the peeling of osiers, his neck bare, hung with Indian leaves, his face brown, painted with blue stripes, in his nose swines' teeth, on his head a painted wicker crown with tobacco-pipes set in it, plumes of tobacco leaves, led by two Indian boys naked, with tapers in their hands, tobacco-boxes, and pipes lighted_. PHA. Foh, foh, what a smell is here! Is this one of your delightful objects? OLF. It is your only scent in request, sir. COM. SEN. What fiery fellow is that, which smokes so much in the mouth? OLF. It is the great and puissant God of Tobacco. TOB. _Ladoch guevarroh pufuer shelvaro baggon, Olfia di quanon, Indi cortilo vraggon_. PHA. Ha, ha, ha, ha! this, in my opinion, is the tongue of the Antipodes. MEM. No, I remember it very well, it was the language the Arcadians spake that lived long before the moon. COM. SEN. What signifies it, Olfactus? OLF. This is the mighty Emperor Tobacco, king of Trinidado, that, in being conquered, conquered all Europe, in making them pay tribute for their smoke. TOB. _Erfronge inglues conde hesingo, Develin floscoth ma pu cocthingo_. OLF. Expeller of catarrhs, banisher of all agues, your guts' only salve for the green wounds of a _non-plus_. TOB. _All vulcam vercu, I parda pora si de gratam, ka famala mora, che Bauho respartera, quirara_. OLF. Son to the god Vulcan and Tellus, kin to the father of mirth, called Bacchus. TOB. _Viscardonok, pillostuphe, pascano tinaromagas, Pagi dagon stollisinfe, carocibato scribas_. OLF. Genius of all swaggerers, professed enemy to physicians, sweet ointment for sour teeth, firm knot of good fellowship, adamant of company, swift wind to spread the wings of time, hated of none but those that know him not, and of so great deserts that, whoso is acquainted with him can hardly forsake him. PHA. It seems these last words were very significant. I promise you, a god of great denomination; he may be my Lord Tappes for his large titles[291]. COM. SEN. But forward, Olfactus, as they have done before you, with your description?