EUPH. Yet, I doubt, old Earthworm Would prove too subtle to be govern'd so. You'll find him, madam, an old crabbed piece: Some gentle fool were better for a husband. ART. Fie, cousin, how thou talk'st! LADY W. He's in the right: Fools are the only husbands; one may rule 'em. Why should not we desire to use men so, As they would us? I have heard men protest They would have their wives silly, and not studied In anything, but how to dress themselves; And not so much as able to write letters. Just such a husband would I wish to have, So qualifi'd, and not a jot beyond it; He should not have the skill to write or read. ART. What could you get by that? LADY W. I should be sure He could not read my letters; and for bonds, When I should have occasion to use money, His mark would serve. ART. I am not of your mind: I would not have a fool for all the world. BAR. No, fairest lady, your perfections None but the wisest and the best of men Can truly find and value. DOT. And I protest, lady, I honour you for not loving a fool. LADY W. You would love a wife, it seems, that loves not you? EUPH. A tart jest, Barnet! BAR. But he feels it not. [_Aside._ EUPH. Fie, Master Dotterel! 'tis not nobly done In you to hate a fool: a generous spirit Would take the weakest' part; and fools, you know, Are weakest still. DOT. Faith, Master Euphues, I must confess I have a generous spirit, And do a little sympathise with fools: I learn'd that word from a good honest man. But hark you, cousin Barnet, this same lady Is a brave woman. BAR. Are you taken with her? DOT. I love a wit with all my heart. BAR. 'Tis well; He is already taken off, I see, From fair Artemia, or may be soon; Upon this t'other I may build a fortune. [_Aside._ EUPH. But, madam, if your ladyship would marry Upon those terms, 'twere better that you took Old Earthworm's son. LADY W. Has he a son, I prythee? EUPH. Yes, lately come from travel, as they say, We have not seen him yet; he has kept close Since his arrival; people give him out To be his father's own. LADY W. Nay, then I swear I'll none of him. If he be covetous, And young, I shall be troubled too long with him: I had rather have the old one. ART. Here's my father. _Enter_ MASTER FREEMAN. FREE. Health to this good society: I am sorry That my poor house must not to-day enjoy The happiness to entertain you all. We are invited to th' old Lady Covet's; And thither must our company remove. LADY W. Sir, I'll be govern'd by you. I was bold To come and see Mistress Artemia. FREE. She's much beholden to your ladyship For doing her that honour.