I will try and describe, or I won't, if you please, The cheer that was set for us under the trees: You have read the _menu_, may you read it again, Champagne, perigord, galantine, and--champagne. Suffice it to say that, by chance, I was thrust 'Twixt Selina and Brown--to the latter's disgust. Poor Brown, who believes in himself--and, another thing, Whose talk is so bald, but whose cheeks are so--t'other thing. She sang, her sweet voice filled the gay garden alleys; I jested, but Brown would not smile at my sallies; And Selina remarked that a swell met at Rome, Is not always a swell when one meets him at home. The luncheon despatched, we adjourned to croquet, A dainty, but difficult sport, in its way. Thus I counsel the Sage, who to play at it stoops,-- _Belabour thy neighbour, and spoon through thy hoops_. Then we strolled, and discourse found its softest of tones: "How charming were solitude and--Mrs. Jones." "Indeed, Mr. Placid, I doat on these sheeny And shadowy paths of the Aldobrandini." A girl came with violet posies--and two Soft eyes, like her violets, laden with dew; And a kind of an indolent, fine-lady air, As if she by accident found herself there. I bought one. Selina was pleased to accept it; She gave me a rose-bud to keep--and I've kept it. Thus the moments flew by, and I think, in my heart, When one vowed one must go, two were loth to depart. The twilight is near, we no longer can stay; The steeds are remounted, and wheels roll away. The ladies _condemn_ Mrs. Jones, as the phrase is, But vie with each other in chanting my praises. "He has so much to say," cries the fair Mrs. Legge; "How amusing he was about missing the peg!" "What a beautiful smile!" says the plainest Miss Gunn. All echo, "He's charming! Delightful! What fun!" This sounds rather nice, and it's perfectly clear it Would have sounded more nice if I'd happened to hear it; The men were less civil, and gave me a rub, So I happened to hear when I went to the Club. Says Brown, "I shall drop Mr. Placid's society;" But Brown is a prig of improper propriety. "Confound him," says Smith (who from cant's not exempt), "Why, he'll bring immorality into contempt." Says I (to myself), when I found me alone, "My wife has my heart, is it wholly her own?" And further, says I (to myself), "I'll be shot If I know if Selina adores me or not." Says Jones, "I've just come from the _scavi_, at Veii, And I've bought some remarkably fine scarabaei." TO PARENTS AND GUARDIANS. Papa was deep in weekly bills, Mama was doing Fanny's frills, Her gentle face full Of woe; said she, "I do declare He can't go back in such a Pair, They're too disgraceful!"