All these forms, however, had either been abolished by law or had fallen into desuetude during the second century of our era, as is evident from Gaius.[31] A man could marry even if not present personally; a woman could not.[32] The woman's parents or guardians were accustomed to arrange a match for her,[33] as they still do in many parts of Europe. Yet the power of the father to coerce his daughter was limited. Her consent was important. "A marriage cannot exist," remarks Paulus, "unless all parties consent."[34] Julianus writes also that the daughter must give her permission[35]; yet the statement of Ulpian which immediately follows in the Digest shows that she had not complete free will in the matter: "It is understood that she who does not oppose the wishes of her father gives consent. But a daughter is allowed to object only in case her father chooses for her a man of unworthy or disgraceful character."[36] The son had an advantage here, because he could never be forced into a marriage against his will.[37] The consent of the father was always necessary for a valid marriage.[38] He could not by will compel his daughter to marry a certain person.[39] After she was married, he still retained power over her, unless she became independent by the birth of three children; but this was largely to protect her and represent her in court against her husband if necessity should arise.[40] A father was not permitted to break up a harmonious[41] marriage; he could not get back his daughter's dowry without her consent,[42] nor force her to return to her husband after a divorce[43]; and he was punished with loss of citizenship if he made a match for a widowed daughter before the legal time of mourning for her husband had expired.[44] A daughter passed completely out of the power of her father only if she became _sui iuris_ by the birth of three children or if she became a Vestal, or again if she married a special priest of Jupiter (_Flamen Dialis_), in which case, however, she passed completely into the power of her husband. Under all circumstances a daughter must not only show respect for her father, but also furnish him with the necessaries of life if he needed them.[45] [Sidenote: "Breach of Promise."] Under the Empire no such thing as a "breach of promise" suit was permitted, although in the days of the Republic the party who broke a promise to marry had been liable to a suit for damages.[46] But this had now disappeared, and either party could break off the betrothal at pleasure without prejudice.[47] Whatever gifts had been given might be demanded back.[48] The engagement had to be formally broken off before either party could enter into marriage or betrothal with another; otherwise he or she lost civil status.[49] While an engagement lasted, the man could bring an action for damages against any one who insulted or injured his fiancée.[50] [Sidenote: Husband and Wife.]