“Why, what deficiencies? You are young, and handsome, and good, and ever
so much cleverer than other people. You have only to ask for me, and
insist on having me. Come, dear, go and get it over.” She added, mighty
coolly, “There is nothing so DREADFUL as suspense.”
“I'll go this minute,” said he, and took a step towards the door; but he
turned, and in a moment was at her knees. He took both her hands in his,
and pressed them to his beating bosom, while his beautiful eyes poured
love into hers point-blank. “May I tell him you love me? Oh, I know you
cannot love me as I love you; but I may say you love me a little, may I
not?--that will go farther with him than anything else. May I, Rosa, may
I?--a little?”
His passion mastered her. She dropped her head sweetly on his shoulder,
and murmured, “You know you may, my own. Who would not love you?”
He parted lingeringly from her, then marched away, bold with love and
hope, to demand her hand in marriage.
Rosa leaned back in her chair, and quivered a little with new emotions.
Christopher was right; she was not capable of loving like him; but
still the actual contact of so strong a passion made her woman's nature
vibrate. A dewy tear hung on the fringes of her long lashes, and she
leaned back in her chair and fluttered awhile.
That emotion, almost new to her, soon yielded, in her girlish mind, to a
complacent languor; and that, in its turn, to a soft reverie. So she was
going to be married! To be mistress of a house; settle in London (THAT
she had quite determined long ago); be able to go out into the streets
all alone, to shop, or visit; have a gentleman all her own, whom she
could put her finger on any moment and make him take her about, even to
the opera and the theatre; to give dinner-parties her own self, and even
a little ball once in a way; to buy whatever dresses she thought proper,
instead of being crippled by an allowance; have the legal right of
speaking first in society, even to gentlemen rich in ideas but bad
starters, instead of sitting mumchance and mock-modest; to be Mistress,
instead of Miss--contemptible title; to be a woman, instead of a girl;
and all this rational liberty, domestic power, and social dignity were
to be obtained by merely wedding a dear fellow, who loved her, and was
so nice; and the bright career to be ushered in with several delights,
each of them dear to a girl's very soul: presents from all her friends;
as many beautiful new dresses as if she was changing her body or her
hemisphere, instead of her name; eclat; going to church, which is a
good English girl's theatre of display and temple of vanity, and there
tasting delightful publicity and whispered admiration, in a heavenly
long veil, which she could not wear even once if she remained single.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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