She very soon perceived that to Violante the consciousness of her own
want of personal attractions was, despite her yearning for a life to be
filled with thoughts and objects to which beauty could contribute
nothing, a source of bitter and ever-present mortification. There was
inconsistency, doubtless, in regret for the deficiency of personal
attraction in persons who, with perfect sincerity, declared to
themselves that to enter a convent was their greatest object in life.
But Violante was not aware that if the beauty had been there the
devotional aspirations would not have been there! That, which causes
more deeply implanted in her nature than she knew of were impelling her
to desire and to yearn for, the imperfect teaching of the world around
her had led her to imagine to be unattainable save by the gifts of
personal beauty. And, knowing that if that were so there was no hope for
her, her bruised heart had sought the only refuge which seemed to be
open to such misfortune.
The Signora Fagiani's first attempt at finding a remedy for this state
of things consisted of a vigorous endeavour to persuade her pupil that
her own estimate of her personal appearance was altogether a mistaken
one. All the former experience of the old lady led her to consider this
an easy task. And she was much surprised to find that her insinuations,
assertions, and persuasions on this subject were totally thrown away on
her pupil. The precious gift of personal vanity had been denied to poor
Violante; and she saw herself somewhat more unfavourably than others saw
her.
Then the duenna changed her tactics; and strove to point out how very
little a pretty face signified to any girl in the position of the
Contessa di Marliani. To a poor girl, indeed, whose face was her
fortune, it was another matter. But the niece of the Cardinal Legate!
Bah! Did she imagine that she would lack suitors? She had nothing to do
but to make the most of the advantages in her hand, and she would see
herself surrounded by all the beaux, while the prettiest girls in the
room might go whistle for the smallest scrap of attention, And then,
when married, with rank, station, wealth at her command, what would it
signify?
And in urging all these considerations, the Signora Assunta Fagiani
spoke at least sincerely, and expended for the benefit of her pupil the
best wisdom that was in her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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