And the Marchese did return to the palazzo, though nobody was specially
waiting for him there. On the contrary, he told the servant in the hall
to admit nobody, and when he reached his library, he shut the door and
bolted it. And then he threw himself into an easy chair to think.
The first thing that his thinking made clear and certain to him was that
something had happened, or was happening to him, which had never
happened to him before,--something respecting the exact nature of which
all his previous experience afforded him no light.
In love! He had never been in love; but he knew, with some tolerable
accuracy, what was generally understood by the phrase. He had read the
poets, who describe the passion under sufficiently various phases; and
he had heard plenty of lovers' talk among a people who are not wont to
suffer, or to exult, or to be happy in silence. Was he in love with this
woman? Did he, in his heart, love her--in his heart, as he was there in
the solitude of his own room, at liberty and at leisure to examine his
heart upon the subject. A heavy frown settled on the Marchese Lamberto's
brow, and an unpleasant change came over his face, as he proceeded with
the task of asking his heart this question. There rose up feelings and
promptings within him, which almost drove him to the fierce assertion to
himself that he hated this woman, who was thus occupying his thoughts
against his will.
What had become of all that warm chivalry of feeling that had urged him,
with all perfect earnestness of sincerity, to declare that no breath of
calumny or insult should come near her, beneath the aegis that he could
and would throw over her? Where was it gone? All clean gone. He knew,
with tolerable accuracy, the story of the former life of this woman.
They were facts which he knew,--certainly knew. But they had all
vanished from his mind,--had been as though they were not,--while he had
sat there by her sofa, looking at her and listening to her,--had all
vanished, even as the ardent chivalry, which had then been caused by
some sorcery to spring up in his mind, had vanished now.
It was passing strange.
That he was very sorely tempted--as he had never before in his life
been, tempted--to make love to this actress,--as it is called,--to make
love to her after the fashion, not so much of those poetical
descriptions which have been referred to, as after the fashion of those
prosaic settings-forth of the passion, which were familiar enough to his
ears, was clearly recognizable by him. He knew very certainly that he
desired that.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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