then is the circle of my commemoration and so much these free and
copious notes a labour of love and loyalty. We were, to my sense, the
blest group of us, such a company of characters and such a picture of
differences, and withal so fused and united and interlocked, that each
of us, to that fond fancy, pleads for preservation, and that in respect
to what I speak of myself as possessing I think I shall be ashamed, as
of a cold impiety, to find any element altogether negligible. To which I
may add perhaps that I struggle under the drawback, innate and inbred,
of seeing the whole content of memory and affection in each enacted and
recovered moment, as who should say, in the vivid image and the very
scene; the light of the only terms in which life has treated me to
experience. And I cherish the moment and evoke the image and repaint the
scene; though meanwhile indeed scarce able to convey how prevailingly
and almost exclusively, during years and years, the field was animated
and the adventure conditioned for me by my brother's nearness and that
play of genius in him of which I had never had a doubt from the first.
The "first" then--since I retrace our steps to the start, for the
pleasure, strangely mixed though it be, of feeling our small feet plant
themselves afresh and artlessly stumble forward again--the first began
long ago, far off, and yet glimmers at me there as out of a thin golden
haze, with all the charm, for imagination and memory, of pressing
pursuit rewarded, of distinctness in the dimness, of the flush of life
in the grey, of the wonder of consciousness in everything; everything
having naturally been all the while but the abject little matter of
course. Partly doubtless as the effect of a life, now getting to be a
tolerably long one, spent in the older world, I see the world of our
childhood as very young indeed, young with its own juvenility as well as
with ours; as if it wore the few and light garments and had gathered in
but the scant properties and breakable toys of the tenderest age, or
were at the most a very unformed young person, even a boisterous
hobbledehoy. It exhaled at any rate a simple freshness, and I catch its
pure breath, at our infantile Albany, as the very air of long summer
afternoons--occasions tasting of ample leisure, still bookless, yet
beginning to be bedless, or cribless; tasting of accessible garden
peaches in a liberal backward territory that was still almost part of a
country town; tasting of many-sized uncles, aunts, cousins, of strange
legendary domestics, inveterately but archaically Irish, and whose
familiar remarks and "criticism of life" were handed down, as well as of
dim family ramifications and local allusions--mystifications
always--that flowered into anecdote as into small hard plums; tasting
above all of a big much-shaded savoury house in which a softly-sighing
widowed grandmother, Catherine Barber by birth, whose attitude was a
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