With his slow habit of thinking Hardwick had to revolve this speech in
his mind before replying. Alice, with an impish look of mischief on her
face, laughed also to prevent his answering. "I am taking you into deep
water and you will be drowned," she said lightly, "suppose you begin
your picture."
"No," said the man soberly. "I don't feel like painting the picture. I
don't believe I ever could," and he looked at the fading glories of sea
and land regretfully.
"Next time you are born you will be a genius," said Miss Enistor
cheerfully, "as you are building up in this life the brain required by a
master-painter. Meantime I wish you to be my friend."
"Well, it is hard to decline from love to friendship, but----"
"No 'buts.' Friendship is love from another point of view."
"Not my point of view."
Alice raised an admonitory finger. "You mustn't be selfish," she said
severely.
"Selfish? I? How can I be?"
"By wishing me to give for your gratification what I cannot give for my
own. I cannot love you as you desire, because there is not that
spiritual link between us which means true love. Therefore to make me
happy, if you really love me, you should be prepared to sacrifice
yourself to the lower feeling of friendship."
"That is too high for me," murmured Hardwick despondingly, "but I see
that you won't have me as your husband."
"Certainly not. I want a man to love me, not to pity me."
"It isn't exactly pity."
"Yes it is," she insisted, "you are sorry for me because I live in a
dull house with a neglectful father. It is very nice of you to think so,
and it is still nicer to think that you are willing to help me by tying
yourself to a woman you do not really love. But I can't accept that
sacrifice. You must be my friend, Julian--my true honest friend."
Hardwick glanced into her deep blue eyes, and unintelligent as he was in
such subtle matters read his answer therein. "I shall do my best," he
said with a deep sigh; "but you must give me time to cool down from
passion to friendship. I want you to be my wife, and like all women you
offer to be a sister to me."
"Or I will be your cousin if the relation will suit you better," said
the girl, laughing outright at his rueful looks.
Julian took offence. "You don't pity me?"
"Not at all, since your feeling is not one of genuine love," was the
cool response. "I would if it were."
"One would think you were a hardened woman of the world to hear you
speak in this way."
"Perhaps I was a woman of the world in my last incarnation, Julian. I
seem to have brought over a great deal of common sense to this life. You
are a dear, sweet, placid thing, but although you have seen more of
human nature and worldly existence this time than I have, you don't know
half so much."
"Alice, you are conceited."
"Ah, that speech shows you are yet heart-whole, Julian. If you were
really in love you would never dare to speak so to your divinity."
"Well, I daresay I shall get over it. But it's hard on a fellow."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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