“No such thing,” said Lauderdale, hotly. “I’m fool enough, no doubt, but
no such a fool as that. Callants of your age canna keep a medium. When
you have a sore finger you take thoughts of dying; but I’m a man of some
experience in this world. I’m travelling for my own pleasure and no for
you, nor no man. As for this lad, I’ve seen the like before. He’s no
singular, though I’ve little doubt he thinks he is. It’s awfu’ hard work
to stop short just when you’ve come to the brow of the hill, and see a’
the fair prospect before you,” said Colin’s guardian, whose countenance
was overcast and cloudy. “When the mind’s no very strong, the like of
that sets it off its balance. I’ve seen them that came out of the trial
as calm as the angels of God,” he went on, after a little pause, with a
strain in his voice which showed unusual emotion; “and I have seen them
that battled with Him that made them, to make Him render a reason; and I
have seen them that took it with a high hand, and turned into preachers
like this one. ‘A Voice from the Grave,’ did she say? But you’re a’
babies that ken no better. How are the like of you to know that there’s
men like me--ay, and women more than men--that would give a’ their
living, and would not grudge life itself, no for a voice only, but for
two or three words--for one word and no more.” He put down his face in
his hands for a moment as he spoke, though not to conceal tears; for
Lauderdale’s sorrows, whatever they might have been, were wrapped in the
deadly stillness of that past grief with which no stranger intermeddles;
and his young companion watched him sorrowfully, sympathetically, but in
ignorance, and with the timidity of youth, not knowing what to say.
“Him, and the like of him,” said Lauderdale, going on more softly when
he found that Colin made no reply, “their voice from the grave is like a
Halloween ghost to frighten the unwary. Whisht, callant! I’m no laughing
at the poor dying lad. There’s nae laughing in my head one way or
another; but it’s so little you know. You never think, with your
warnings and your terrors, of us that have sat by our graves for years,
and been confounded by the awfu’ silence. Why can they no speak nor we
hear? You’ll no tell me that Heaven and the presence of God can take the
love out of a living soul. I wish you would not disturb my mind with
your vain thoughts; it’s no a question I dare go into. If love’s no
everlasting, I’ve no desire to be everlasting myself; and, if I’m to be
no more hereafter to them that belong to me, than to legions of strange
angels, or a haill nation of fremd folk!--Whisht, callant! you’re no to
say such things to me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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