“I understand you an awfu’ deal better than you understand yourself,”
said Lauderdale; “and, as I was saying, I am a great believer in first
impressions. It’s a mercenary kind of thing to be friends with a man for
his good qualities--there’s a kind of barter in it that goes against my
instincts; but, when you take to a man for nae reason, but out of pure
election and choice, that’s real friendship--or love, as it might be,”
he went on, without pity, enjoying the heightened colour and air of
embarrassment on Colin’s face.
“You say all this to make me lose my temper,” said Colin. “Don’t let us
talk of it any more to-night; I will think it all over again, since you
oppose it, and to-morrow--”
“Ay, to-morrow,” said Lauderdale--“it’s a bonnie new world, and we’ll no
interfere with it. Good-night, callant; I’m no a man that can be
quarrelled with if you tried ever so hard; to-morrow you’ll take your
own way.”
Colin did not sleep till the night was far advanced. He lay awake,
watching the moonlight, and pondering over this matter, which looked
very important as he contemplated it. By thinking was meant, in his
mind, as in most minds of his age, not any complicated course of
reasoning, but a rapid framing of pictures on one side and the other. On
one side he saw Meredith beguiled from his book, persuaded to moderate
his words in season and out of season, and induced to take a little
interest in ordinary human affairs, gradually recovering his health, and
returning to a life which should no longer appear to him a near
preparation for dying; and it cannot be denied that there did come into
Colin’s mind a certain consciousness of grateful looks and sweet-voiced
thanks attending this restoration, which made the picture wonderfully
pleasant. Then, on the other side, there was Lauderdale’s sketch of the
sadder possibilities filled in by Colin’s imagination:--poor Meredith
dying slowly, looking death in the face for long days and lonely nights,
sorely wanting all the succour that human compassion could give him; and
the forlorn and solitary mourner that would be left, so young and
friendless, by the stranger’s grave. Perhaps, on the whole, this
suggestion of Lauderdale’s decided the matter. The thought was too
pitiful, too sad to be borne. She was nothing in the world to him; but
she was a woman, and Colin thought indignantly of the unchristian
cowardice which, for fear of responsibility, would desert a friendless
creature exposed to such dangers. Notwithstanding, he was prudent, very
prudent, as was natural. It was not Alice, but Arthur Meredith who was
to be his friend. She had nothing to do with this decision whatever. If
such a melancholy necessity should happen, Colin felt it was in him,
respectfully, sympathetically, to take the poor girl home; and if,
somehow, the word “home” suggested to him his mother, who that knew
anything of the Mistress, could wonder at that thought?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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