"How strong you are!" she said, laughing, as he entered the carriage and
sat down opposite, not beside her.
"Physically--yes. If my force of will equalled my nerves and muscles, I
should be a much happier man."
"Infirmity of will? You,--the most obstinate man I ever met! How little
you know yourself!"
"You are so sure you read me aright, perhaps you understand why all the
strength of my manhood has not saved me from staking my earthly hopes on
a venture that may be fatal. Can you explain?"
"Is it some scientific scheme? Some theory that may prove a delusion?"
"It is simply the possibility that the woman I love will not give me her
heart. Eglah, I have been patient. I wished you to see and know other
men--to form your own ideal, to compare me with some more brilliant and
attractive--before I asked for your love. Since the day I first saw
you--a grieved child--at Nutwood, my heart has been entirely yours, and
all my future is gilded with the hope of a home in which you will reign
as my wife. I bring you the one unshared love of my life. May I have the
blessed assurance that you will accept it?"
For some seconds Eglah neither moved nor spoke; then she slipped down on
her knees and laid her head on his hands, that were folded together.
"Mr. Noel--dear Mr. Noel--I will never marry. Only one man in all the
world is necessary to my happiness, and he is my father. What you tell
me now is a surprise--a painful surprise to me--because I never thought
of you as of some who flattered and even some who have asked my hand.
You were always my best friend, my wise, sympathetic companion, and I
never could think of you as desiring or needing any woman's affection.
You have seemed unlike other men I meet in society, and I believed you
cared most for books and scientific experiments, though I thought you
always felt a very kind, friendly, brotherly interest in me. Oh, I am so
sorry you have uttered such words to-night! You must know I am not like
other women in our circle, and I have no intention of marrying. If I
should select any man to love it might be you, because I respect and
trust you so profoundly; but that could never happen to me. What have I
inadvertently done to make you misjudge my feelings? You must forgive
me. I never suspected."
As she pressed her face against his hands he felt her lips trembling,
and his struggle for self-control was short and fierce. After a moment,
he raised and replaced her on the seat and sat beside her.
"I can reproach only myself for a delusion that costs me more than you
will ever know. In my loneliness the dream was so beautiful. I could not
resist its fascination. Dear little girl, you are the only one I ever
wished or asked to be my wife, and because you are so precious to me I
will not surrender my hope, unless you force me. Remember the long years
I have waited for you. In time, perhaps, you might learn to care for me.
May I entreat you to try?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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