A Strange Story — Volume 05Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
Science
A Strange Story — Volume 05
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
"And oh," I murmured to myself, "oh that I had one bosom friend to whom I
might freely confide all these torturing riddles which I cannot
solve,--one who could read my heart, light up its darkness, exorcise its
spectres; one in whose wisdom I could welcome a guide through the Nature
which now suddenly changes her aspect, opening out from the walls with
which I had fenced and enclosed her as mine own formal garden;--all her
pathways, therein, trimmed to my footstep; all her blooms grouped and
harmonized to my own taste in colour; all her groves, all her caverns, but
the soothing retreats of a Muse or a Science; opening out--opening out,
desert on desert, into clewless and measureless space! Gone is the
garden! Were its confines too narrow for Nature? Be it so! The Desert
replaces the garden, but where ends the Desert? Reft from my senses are
the laws which gave order and place to their old questionless realm. I
stand lost and appalled amidst Chaos. Did my Mind misconstrue the laws it
deemed fixed and immutable? Be it so! But still Nature cannot be
lawless; Creation is not a Chaos. If my senses deceive me in some things,
they are still unerring in others; if thus, in some things, fallacious,
still, in other things, truthful. Are there within me senses finer than
those I have cultured, or without me vistas of knowledge which instincts,
apart from my senses, divine? So long as I deal with the Finite alone, my
senses suffice me; but when the Infinite is obtruded upon me there, are my
senses faithless deserters? If so, is there aught else in my royal
resources of Man--whose ambition it is, from the first dawn of his glory
as Thinker, to invade and to subjugate Nature,--is there aught else to
supply the place of those traitors, the senses, who report to my Reason,
their judge and their sovereign, as truths seen and heard tales which my
Reason forfeits her sceptre if she does not disdain as lies? Oh, for a
friend! oh, for a guide!"
And as I so murmured, my eye fell upon the form of a kneeling child,--at
the farther end of the burial-ground, beside a grave with its new
headstone gleaming white amidst the older moss-grown tombs, a female
child, her head bowed, her hands clasped. I could see but the outline of
her small form in its sable dress,--an infant beside the dead. My eye and
my thoughts were turned from that silent figure, too absorbed in my own
restless tumult of doubt and dread, for sympathy with the grief or the
consolation of a kneeling child. And yet I should have remembered that
tomb! Again I murmured with a fierce impatience, "Oh, for a friend! oh,
for a guide!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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