She waved her arms in a passionate gesture and walked about the room
with clenched hands. Felicia arranged the flowers mechanically. These
things were new to her philosophy. She felt troubled by them, but she
kept silent. Katherine continued her parable, the pent-up disgusts and
wearinesses of months finding vehement expression.
“Yes, a man, a man. It is good that he is coming. A being without
jangling nerves, and with a fresh, broad mind that only sees things in
bulk and does not dissect the infinitely little. He will come here like
a sea breeze. It is a physical need among us, a man's presence now
and then, with his heavy frame and deep voice and resonant laugh, his
strength, his rough ways, his heavy tread, his great hands. Ah! you are
young; you think I am telling you dreadful things; you may never know
it. It is only women who live alone that can know what it is to yearn
to have a man's strong arm, brother or father or husband, to close round
you as you cry your poor weak woman's heart out, and the more humble,
self-abasing longing, just to long for a man's voice. What does it
matter what the man is like?”
There was a few moments' silence. Katherine went on with her dressing.
The words had relieved her heart, yet she felt ashamed at having spoken
so bitterly before the young girl. _Maxime debetur_--. She thought of
the maxim and bit her lip. But was she not young too? Were they so far
apart in age that they could not meet on common grounds? She looked
in the glass. Her charm had not yet gone. Yet she wished she had not
spoken.
Felicia finished arranging the flowers, and disposed the four little
vases about the room. Then she went up to Katherine and put her arm
round her waist.
“I am sorry.”
It was all the girl could say, but it made Katherine turn and kiss her
cheek.
“I expect Mr. Chetwynd is going to be very nice if he is anything like
his father,” she said in her natural tones. “Forgive me for having been
disagreeable. I woke up like it. Sometimes this pension gets on one's
nerves.”
“It is frightfully dull,” assented Felicia. “But you are the busiest of
anybody. You are always working or reading or going out to nurse poor
sick people. I wish I did anything half as useful.”
“Well, you have made me more cheerful than I was, if that is anything,”
replied Katherine.
A little later the old man announced to her the speedy arrival of his
son Raine. Katherine listened, made a few polite inquiries, learned the
functions of a college tutor, and the difference between a lecturer and
a professor.
“He is a great big fellow,” said the old man. “He would make about ten
of me. So don't expect to see a thin, doubled up, elderly young man in
spectacles!”
“Is your son married?” asked Frâulein Klinkhardt, who sat next to
Felicia.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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