The girl found herself just in the humour of bitterness to accept it.
After the heartless, systematic deception that had been practised on
Miss Bunter for fifteen years, it seemed possible to credit humanity
with anything. Not that she felt any resentment against Raine Chetwynd
on her own score. She was bound to confess to herself, with tears of
self-scorn, that he had never treated her with anything but the most
brotherly frankness and courtesy. But in her dislike of Katherine, she
certainly credited him with a commonplace amour, and thereby set him
down lower in her estimation. Then her pride came, speciously to her
rescue, but really, after the way of pride in women's hearts, to
embitter the struggle that was taking place within her. One bright, pure
feeling, however, rose above the turmoil--an intense pity for the poor
frail creature out of whom had been crushed the hope of life. To have
stood by as witness and comforter during that agony of despair had been
one of those lurid experiences that set in motion the springs of
infinitely reaching sympathies.
When old Mr. Chetwynd proposed the trip to Lucerne she sprang at it
eagerly. It would be a relief to leave the pension and its associations.
For the whole of the day she busied herself feverishly with
preparations. It was a keen disappointment when the old man fell ill and
the trip had to be indefinitely postponed. She longed passionately for
October, when she was to join her uncle and aunt in Bermuda. Meanwhile
she copied out manuscript assiduously, nursed the old man as far as he
would allow her, and devoted the rest of her time to whatever gaieties
were afoot in the pension.
Katherine lived in a fool's paradise after Raine had gone, for a couple
of days. His kiss was on her lips, the pressure of his arms lingered
round her, the vibrating words rang in her ear. If unbidden thoughts
came, she put them aside with a passionately rebellious will. The long
morning passed like a dream. The day and evening in an intoxicated sense
of happiness. In the night she slept and waked, alternately, heedless
of the hours. She had won his love. It had been given to her in
full, overflowing measure. It flooded her presence with sunlight. She
surrendered herself to the delicious joy that it was to feel, instead of
to think.
On the evening of the second day, however, came Raine's letter. She sat
by her window, reading it with a beating heart. At times the words swam
before her. Until then she had not realized the wholeness, the simple
nobility of his love. To her it was more than a love-letter. It was the
revelation of a strong, high soul that was given her, to companion
and illuminate the rest of her days upon earth. She, who in her
self-abasement before him, felt unworthy to kiss the hem of his raiment,
saw herself revered, worshipped, filling a holy of holies in his heart.
She was to be his wife.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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