"Who would have thought, your Excellency, that human food, in its original shape, flies, swims, and grows on trees?" said one General. "Yes," replied the other General; "I must confess that until this day I thought that wheaten rolls came into existence in just the form in which they are served to us in the morning with our coffee." "It must be that, for instance, if one desires to eat a partridge, he must first catch it, kill it, pluck it, roast it.... But how is all that done?" "How is all that done?" repeated the other General, like an echo. They fell into silence, and tried to get to sleep; but hunger effectually banished sleep. Hazel-hens, turkeys, sucking-pigs flitted before their eyes, rosy, veiled in a slight blush of roasting, surrounded with cucumbers, pickles, and other salads. "It seems to me that I could eat my own boots now!" said one General. "Gloves are good also, when they have been worn a long time!" sighed the other General. All at once the Generals glanced at each other; an ominous fire glowed in their eyes, their teeth gnashed, a dull roar forced its way from their breasts. They began slowly to crawl toward each other, and in the twinkling of an eye they were exasperated to fury. Tufts of hair flew about, whines and groans resounded; the General who had been a teacher of calligraphy bit off his adversary's Order, and immediately swallowed it. But the sight of flowing blood seemed to restore them to their senses. "The power of the cross defend us!" they exclaimed simultaneously; "if we go on like this we shall eat each other!" "And how did we get here? What malefactor has played us this trick?" "We must divert our minds with some sort of conversation, your Excellency, or there will be murder!" said the other General. "Begin!" replied the other General. "Well, for instance, what do you think about this, Why does the sun rise first and then set, instead of acting the other way about?" "You are a queer man, your Excellency; don't you rise first, then go to the office, write there, and afterward go to bed?" "But why not admit this reversal of the order; first I go to bed, have divers dreams, and then rise?" "Hm, yes.... But I must confess that when I served in the department I always reasoned in this fashion: now it is morning, then it will be day, then supper will be served, and it will be time to go to bed." But the mention of supper plunged them both into grief, and broke the conversation off short at the very beginning. "I have heard a doctor say that a man can live for a long time on his own juices," began one of the Generals. "Is that so?"