For about this time it happened a sect arose whose tenets obtained and
spread very far, especially in the _grand monde_, and among everybody of
good fashion. They worshipped a sort of idol {72a}, who, as their
doctrine delivered, did daily create men by a kind of manufactory
operation. This idol they placed in the highest parts of the house on an
altar erected about three feet. He was shown in the posture of a Persian
emperor sitting on a superficies with his legs interwoven under him.
This god had a goose for his ensign, whence it is that some learned men
pretend to deduce his original from Jupiter Capitolinus. At his left
hand, beneath the altar, Hell seemed to open and catch at the animals the
idol was creating, to prevent which, certain of his priests hourly flung
in pieces of the uninformed mass or substance, and sometimes whole limbs
already enlivened, which that horrid gulph insatiably swallowed, terrible
to behold. The goose was also held a subaltern divinity or _Deus minorum
gentium_, before whose shrine was sacrificed that creature whose hourly
food is human gore, and who is in so great renown abroad for being the
delight and favourite of the Egyptian Cercopithecus {72b}. Millions of
these animals were cruelly slaughtered every day to appease the hunger of
that consuming deity. The chief idol was also worshipped as the inventor
of the yard and the needle, whether as the god of seamen, or on account
of certain other mystical attributes, hath not been sufficiently cleared.
The worshippers of this deity had also a system of their belief which
seemed to turn upon the following fundamental. They held the universe to
be a large suit of clothes which invests everything; that the earth is
invested by the air; the air is invested by the stars; and the stars are
invested by the _Primum Mobile_. Look on this globe of earth, you will
find it to be a very complete and fashionable dress. What is that which
some call land but a fine coat faced with green, or the sea but a
waistcoat of water-tabby? Proceed to the particular works of the
creation, you will find how curious journeyman Nature hath been to trim
up the vegetable beaux; observe how sparkish a periwig adorns the head of
a beech, and what a fine doublet of white satin is worn by the birch. To
conclude from all, what is man himself but a microcoat, or rather a
complete suit of clothes with all its trimmings? As to his body there
can be no dispute, but examine even the acquirements of his mind, you
will find them all contribute in their order towards furnishing out an
exact dress. To instance no more, is not religion a cloak, honesty a
pair of shoes worn out in the dirt, self-love a surtout, vanity a shirt,
and conscience a pair of breeches, which, though a cover for lewdness as
well as nastiness, is easily slipped down for the service of both.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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