All of us about the ranch, including Miss Jean, knew that the old ranchero’s views on matrimony could be obtained by leading up to the question, or differing, as occasion required. So, just to hear him talk on his favorite theme, I said: “Uncle Lance, you must recollect this is a different generation. Now, I’ve read books”— “So have I. But it’s different in real life. Now, in those novels you have read, the poor devil is nearly worried to death for fear he’ll not get her. There’s a hundred things happens; he’s thrown off the scent one day and cuts it again the next, and one evening he’s in a heaven of bliss and before the dance ends a rival looms up and there’s hell to pay,—excuse me, Sis,—but he gets her in the end. And that’s the way it goes in the books. But getting down to actual cases—when the money’s on the table and the game’s rolling—it’s as simple as picking a sire and a dam to raise a race horse. When they’re both willing, it don’t require any expert to see it—a one-eyed or a blind man can tell the symptoms. Now, when any of you boys get into that fix, get it over with as soon as possible.” “From the drift of your remarks,” said June Deweese very innocently, “why wouldn’t it be a good idea to go back to the old method of letting the parents make the matches?” “Yes; it would be a good idea. How in the name of common sense could you expect young sap-heads like you boys to understand anything about a woman? I know what I’m talking about. A single woman never shows her true colors, but conceals her imperfections. The average man is not to be blamed if he fails to see through her smiles and Sunday humor. Now, I was forty when I married the second time, and forty-five the last whirl. Looks like I’d a-had some little sense, now, don’t it? But I didn’t. No, I didn’t have any more show than a snowball in—Sis, hadn’t you better retire. You’re not interested in my talk to these boys.—Well, if ever any of you want to get married you have my consent. But you’d better get my opinion on her dimples when you do. Now, with my sixty odd years, I’m worth listening to. I can take a cool, dispassionate view of a woman now, and pick every good point about her, just as if she was a cow horse that I was buying for my own saddle.” Miss Jean, who had a ready tongue for repartee, took advantage of the first opportunity to remark: “Do you know, brother, matrimony is a subject that I always enjoy hearing discussed by such an oracle as yourself. But did it never occur to you what an unjust thing it was of Providence to reveal so much to your wisdom and conceal the same from us babes?”