A Thousand and One Afternoons in ChicagoHecht, Ben
General
A Thousand and One Afternoons in Chicago
Hecht, Ben
Chicago (Ill.) -- Literary collections; Hecht, Ben, 1893-1964 -- Homes and haunts -- Illinois -- Chicago
"It was like this," he said. "I made up my mind that I would take in a few
of the points of interest in the city I ain't ever got around to. Being a
Chicagoan, like most Chicagoans I ain't ever seen any of our natural
wonders at all. So first day out I figured that the place no copper would
ever look for me would be like the Field Museum and in the zoo and on the
beach and like that.
"So, first of all, I join a rubberneck crowd in one of the carryalls with
a megaphone guy in charge. And I ride around all day. I got kind of
nervous owing to the many coppers we kept passing and exchanging
courtesies with. But I stuck all day, knowing that no sleuth was going
looking for Dapper Pete on a rubberneck wagon.
"Well, then I spent three days in the Field Museum, eyeing the exhibits.
Can you beat it? I walk around and walk around rubbering at mummies and
bones and--well, I ain't kiddin', but they was among the three most
interesting days I ever put in. And I felt pretty good, too, knowin' that
no copper would be thinking of Dapper Pete as being in the museums.
"Then after that I went to the zoo and, rubbered at the animals and birds.
And I sat in the park and watched comical ball games and golf games and
the like. And then I went on some of those boats that run between no place
and nowhere--you get on at a pier and ride for a half hour and get off at
a pier and have to call a taxi in order to find your way back to anywhere.
You get me?
"I'm tellin' you all this," said Dapper Pete cautiously, "with no
reference to the charges involved and for which I am pinched and
incarcerated for, see? But I thought you might make a story out of the way
a guy like me with all my experience dogin' coppers can play himself for a
sucker.
"Well, pretty soon I pretty near run out of rube spots to take in. And
then I think suddenly of the observation towers like on the Masonic Temple
and the Wrigley Building. I headed for them right away, figuring to take a
sandwich or so along and spend the day leisurely giving the city the once
over from my eerie perch.
"And when I come home that night and told my friends about it they was all
excited. They all agreed that I had made the discovery of the age and all
claimed to feel sorry they wasn't hiding out from the coppers, just for
the sake of bein' able to lay low on top of a loop building. It does sound
pretty good, even now.
"I was on my fifth day and was just walking in on the Masonic Temple
observation platform when things began to happen. You know how the city
looks from high up. Like a lot of toys crawling around. And it's nice and
cool and on the whole as good a place to lay low in as you want. And
there's always kind of comical company, see? Rubes on their honeymoon and
sightseers and old maids and finicky old parties afraid of fallin' off,
and gals and their Johns lookin' for some quiet place to spoon."
* * * * *
Dapper Pete sighed in memory.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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