I woke up and lay for a long time in the dark without moving, trying
to remember the fragments of a strange dream of violence and death.
I could still taste the lingering dregs of some bitter emotion. But
I had more important things to think about than dreams. For just a
moment I couldn't remember what it was I had to do; then with a start
I remembered where I was. I had lain down on the couch and pulled the
headpiece into place--
It hadn't worked.
I thought hard, tried to tap a new reservoir of memories, drew a blank.
Maybe my earth-mind was too alien for the Vallonian memory-trace to
affect. It was another good idea that hadn't worked out. But at least
I had had a good rest. Now it was time to get moving. First--to see if
Ommodurad was still asleep. I started to sit up--
Nothing happened.
I had a moment of vertigo, as my inner ear tried to accommodate to
having stayed in the same place after automatically adjusting to my
intention of rising. I lay perfectly still and tried to think it
through.
I had tried to move ... and hadn't so much as twitched a muscle. I
was paralyzed ... or tied up ... or maybe, if I was lucky, imagining
things. I could try it again and next time--
I was afraid to try. Suppose I tried and nothing happened--again? It
was better to lie here and tell myself it was all a mistake. Maybe I
should go back to sleep and wake up later and try it again....
This was ridiculous. All I had to do was sit up. I--
Nothing. I lay in the dark and tried to will an arm to move, my head
to turn. It was as though I had no arm, no head--just a mind--alone
in the dark. I strained to sense the ropes that held me down: still
nothing. No ropes, no arms, no body. There was no pressure against me
from the couch, no vagrant itch or cramp, no physical sensation. I was
a disembodied brain, lying nestled in a great bed of pitchblack cotton
wool.
Then, abruptly, I was aware of myself--not the gross mechanism of bone
and muscle, but the neuro-electric field generated within a brain alive
with flashing currents and a lightning interplay of molecular forces. A
sense of orientation grew. I occupied a block of cells ... here in the
left hemisphere. The mass of neural tissue loomed over me, gigantic.
And "I" ... "I" was reduced to the elemental ego, who possessed as a
material appurtenance "my" arms and legs, "my" body, "my" brain....
Relieved of outside stimuli, I was able now to conceptualize myself
as I actually was: an insubstantial state existing in an immaterial
continuum, created by the action of neural currents within the
cerebrum, as a magnetic field is created in space by the flow of
electricity.
And I knew what had happened. I had opened my mind to invasion by alien
memories. The other mind had seized upon the sensory centers and driven
me to this dark corner. I was a fugitive within my own skull.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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