"They all three know that I love her--the Marquise, Corancez, and Miss
Marsh. The look I caught from one of them last night, the remark and the
smile of the other, and what the third one said, and her blush at having
thought aloud--these are not dreams. They know I love her--But then,
Corancez, last night, when he led me to the gambling-table, must have
divined my thoughts. Such dissimulation!--is it possible? But why not?
He acknowledged it himself awhile ago. To have concealed his sentiments
for Madame Bonnacorsi, he must know how to keep a secret. He kept his
and I have not kept mine. Who knows but they all three saw me buy the
cigarette case? But no. They could not have had the cruelty to speak of
it and to let it be spoken of before me. Marius is not malicious,
neither is the Marquise, nor Miss Marsh. They know--that is all--they
know. But how did they find out?"
Yes, how? With a lover of his susceptibility such a question would of
necessity result in one of those self-examinations in which the scruples
of conscience develop all their feverish illusions. On the way back to
California and at the table where his luncheon was served to him apart,
and afterward on a solitary walk to the picturesque village of Mougins,
his life during these last few weeks came back to him, day by day, hour
by hour, with a displacement of perspective which presented all the
simple incidents of his naïve idyl as irreparable faults, crowned by
that last fault, the purchase of the gold box in a public place and in
full view of such people.
He recalled his first meeting with Madame de Carlsberg, in the Villa
Chésy. How the peculiar beauty of the young woman and her strange charm
had captivated him from the start, and how he had permitted himself to
gaze upon her unrestrainedly, not dreaming that he was thus attracting
attention and causing remarks! He remembered how often he had gone to
her house, seizing every opportunity of meeting her and talking with
her. The indiscretion of such assiduity could not have passed
unperceived, any more than his continued presence at places where he had
never gone before.
He saw again the golf field on those mornings when the Baroness Ely
seemed so beautiful, in her piquant dress of the bright club colors--red
and white. He saw himself at the balls, waiting in a corner of the room
until she entered with that enchantment which emanated from every fold
of her gown. He remembered how often at the confectioner's, or La
Croisette, he had approached her, and how she had always invited him to
sit at her table with such grace in her welcome. Each of these memories
recalled her amiability, her delicate indulgence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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